Saying goodbye to my beautiful boy.

[Yoohoo_Ra]

Hi. This is my first post. I just needed a safe place to come and say how heartbroken I am that my beloved cat Ra is gone. He was my constant companion for over 14 years. He was one of a kind, smart and sassy and just a joy to my heart. I loved him so much, and I can't stop crying.

He passed away yesterday. It was gentle. He passed as I was kissing his head and telling him I loved him. I didn't want to leave him at the vet's. I covered him with his blanket. But they promised to have his remains cremated for me. I couldn't just put him in the ground. I want this small part of him with me.

He was very, very sick with diabetes and pancreatitis. We fought a long hard fight, him and I, but he didn't tolerate any of the treatments. And then we found tumours. So, the vet and I decided it was time to let him go. I wanted to keep fighting for him, but it wouldn't have been fair to him. He was in pain and he was so stressed out. He wasn't going to get better. Making the decision to put him down was the most painful thing I've ever done. He was my friend.

I bought an urn shaped like a cat. I'll have a little funeral when I get it back.

This just hurts so much. I wish I could have him back, but that's not to be. I keep telling myself he's in a better place.

My friends know how much I loved that cat. One of them came with me to the vet's. She held my hand while it happened and cried with me.

I'm home alone, and I don't want to burden my friends with my despair. I know the pain will ease in time. I know this is normal, but I just can't imagine my life without him. He was family.

Thank you for letting me share.