I am uneasy with my neighbour...need some advice

[BrightEyes]

dogcatharmony, I just read the update you posted, wow, ignorance has no boundaries, eh? Some people just have closed minds and they will never open them, no matter how hard you try. By her moving their patio furniture and child's pool over to the property line, she has just further put her child at risk, as obviously he/she will unknowingly be zooming over that line. It's so sad when the kids and the pets take the brunt of someone's stupidity. As a mother, it's HER duty to keep her child safe. I bet the people in her former neighbourhood are all ecstatic that she moved!

I could make you the perfect sign, hon, to hang on your property. It says:

"Nevermind the dog, beware of the owner!" (and has a picture of a six-shooter).

ROFL, let her complain about that! That outta fix her wagon.

When she makes a comment about that, say to her "when you're ready to stop acting like an idiot, come on over for coffee and we'll talk".

Best of luck. And I'm with the others, you shouldn't have to change your lifestyle just because she's moved in next door. Get your fence up when you can in order to keep her kid out of your yard.

[14+kitties]

Protect your a**. Document, document, document. I am assuming you kept a copy of the letter you sent? Also, lots of pics. Especially of the pool, etc moved right next to the fence. This woman is a total and won't be happy until she has caused as much ***** as she can. And I am afraid that Zoe will be the innocent victim here. :sad: There is no word strong enough to describe her.

[dogcatharmony]

Thanks for all the support and advice. I sure wish I could just sit down and have a rational conversation with her. To say how it is for me and that yes I do think about keeping her child safe but I do really think about keeping my dog safe. I am not one of these people who would think, hmmmm for the safety of a small child I should get rid of my dog. I know they looked at the house numerous times in the winter, and there was no way they couldn't have not seen Zoe outside in the winter.....she practacally lives outside in the winter (I need to drag her inside)

And in all reality, wouldn't she look like a fool purposely moving stuff to be closer to the dog when I have done all I can to limit my dogs movement in her own yard??? I am seriously thinking about just talking the police and showing them my journal and pics. I am just so afraid of getting that attitude that a human is more important.

I also wonder if my neighbour thinks that just because I have a dog run in my yard that my dog should be confined to it. I was seriously thinking about digging the dog run up and using it to fence the one side, this dog run was here when I bought the place. I use it when Zoe has her furry friends over just so they can play leash free. Other than that I don't use it because I have a huge yard and don't feel right having her locked up inside a box.

No one was outside at all this evening so I am thinking the patio and pool was moved just to get me riled up. Usually they are outside until the sun goes down but the backyard was empty basically all day today and they are home and it was a very hot day today.

And thanks Aslan for the pic of those post thingys, all the cedar posts I have are ranging in length from 6 to 8 feet. I will have to take a look for those other posts....you said they are good for clay??? They don't shake loose when the soild is really dry and cracked?

And LMBO kandy at the poop pool dunk. I don't even think the poop bucket idea would work, we have a by-law here that if your neighbours complain about smelling poop from a yard that has a dog the city can give you a 1000.00 dollar fine. She seems like the kind of person that would make the phone call and report it.

I also got depressed about some other info I found out. Now I don't know if it is true or not, but I asked a question about fences and I was told that if my neighbours didn't like the fence (if it wasn't astetically pleasing to them) that they could have me remove it. Basically if they didn't like it they could yap and complain and then back to no fence for me. I need to do some reading of our city's laws and such regarding this, maybe make a phone call to city hall. Have any of you heard such a thing??

[aslan]

well my fence is also in clay and we haven't had a problem with it. The spikes go down 4' so that is the frost line, then you put the 4x4 in the top of the spike and tighten the bolts.

[14+kitties]

I think the fence would have to encroach on her property and be in pretty crappy shape in order for her to have the town ask you to remove it. I guess every town is different as far as laws go but there would be an awful lot of ticked off neighbours if that were the case.
I agree with contacting the police. They may not be able to do anything about it yet BUT if you have them on notice that this lady has been bothering you for quite some time then if something does happen, God forbid, they will hopefully be on your side.

I am adding something to the old saying "Fences make good neighbours". HIGH fences make good neighbours!!

to you and Zoe hon for all you have had to put up with!!

[dogcatharmony]

OMG, OMG, OMG.........she just scared me huge. I have the back door open with the screen door shut and Zoe went bonkers at the back door, so I am thinking skunk/raccoon, so I grab my spotlight to check the backyard....and I shine the light out to the back and then sweep side to side and the woman is sitting out there in the pitch dark......OMG. Apparently she is moving her stuff back to her deck, only one lawn chair was there with her in it.

[aslan]

hmmm i'm thinking this woman has a screw loose. Does she smoke? I'd watch for her peeing on the property line or something trying to mark her territory.

[want4rain]

yeah, this is the point where i would take legal action/inquire to at least start the legal trail in case she freaks and decides to take legal action. if only just to have it on record somewhere.... the lawyer will be able to make record of each of your documents and such so there is a legit source out there helping you document.

-ash

[aslan]

you might want to consider a restraining order. The others are right, documents, photo's anything you can get.

[JennieV]

dogcatharmony, I am sorry that your saga is so far from being over. I guess this woman is a bigger (for the lack of harsher smileys) than I thought.
She is one of these unpredictable, crazy persons and I think that at this point you should go to the police. Make sure that you take your letter with you, and as many photos as you can of stuff that you have documented. Basically, just bring the whole thing with you.

You are going to need nerves of steel, because she is a loonie and will do things that you will not expect or understand. she is childish and absurd and she will continue to make your life miserable, UNFORTUNATELY.

At this point my personal advise would be:
1. go to the police and get informed/tell your story
2. take lots of pics and don't worry about her questioning you or if it would bother her...just take the pictures
3. ignore, ignore, ignore her! stay away, stay non-confrontational, at least for now. It will probably get worse before it gets better, but I hope that things will work out.

You could potentially try to go over to her place or invite hers to yours and try to explain what you trying to achieve with sending that letter and that you want to put a fence up...
How about her spouse? Is he involved in this in any way?? If you cant talk to her, maybe you could approach him? Who knows, she may have been telling him about this crazy dog-lady next door that sends her letters and acts weird..? Maybe if you tried...I dont know. I just feel for you.

[BrightEyes]

Oh good Lord! This woman definately, no bones about it, is a genuine nutcase and deliberate trouble-maker. I agree, pay a visit to the local police and give them a head's up before she starts phoning them on a regular basis. This whole thing is nothing but a ticking time bomb just looking for a time to go off.

She IS endangering her child and she's going to provoke your beautiful dog into something that will not end well.... for your dog OR her child. I bet her husband told her to go out and move the patio furniture and the pool. You should ask him sometime soon if he has a leash for his wife and let him know he needs to employ it more often. (but hey, that's just me ). I'll tell you sometime about the one neighbor I have and all the crap I went thru when she moved in.... oiy. And then she got puppies (yes plural) and what happened. Some people should really have to take a test before they buy property.

And keep documenting, as 14+ said. Document, document, document. Our thoughts and best wishes are with you! Keep us posted.

[Kai'smom]

God save us from manic neighbours! Ive got kids and i have to admit that it is scary when your baby goes near a dog. All you see is teeth and your imagination runs away with you - you know all it could take is a split second. THEREFORE, you do not allow your child to come into contact with animals in that manner.
You are doing everything right, and she is one of those moms who think now she has a baby that it comes first in everyones life. Her baby is not your worry - its hers. You are doing everything possible to keep your dog on your property.
Its her responsibility to keep her child on her property. End of story.
If she knocks on your door again ignore her, she will eventually give up. Otherwise tell her to make a formal complaint as she has nothing to base her complaint on.
I would also advise you putting something in writing and keep a copy. If the proverbial S&*T hits the fan, you can show that you warned her to keep to her own property, that her child is trespassing, that she is becoming a nuisance, that she is being unreasonable, that you are the one looking for an amiable solution for all parties.
CYA.
Good luck

[Gail P]

This has been going on for a while so I can't remember if this has already been mentioned or not (I didn't read back through all the older posts), but you can actually make her pay for part of the fence. Wouldn't that just burn her butt? We have a local newspaper/magazine that always has a legal column in it (written by a lawyer) and I remember reading one on the topic of fences. Even if both neighbours are not in agreement about putting up a fence, you can have a fence surveyor (or something like that) come and make an assessment and they will decide who is responsible for what portion of the cost. Apparently this is something that will hold up in court if it comes to that. If you were to make the situation known, how critical it is to put up a fence I bet you could make her pay for at least half the cost, maybe more since she's not doing anything else to take responsibility for her own child's safety.

[wdawson]

all i can say is ....electric cattle fence.....then run chicken wire fence on your side to protect the dog

[dogcatharmony]

I have found three other people in the neighbourhood who have had dog issues with my lovely neighbours and they said they would willing to add their stories to mine if I needed them.

The one is just weird, this fellow lives three houses down on the opposite side of the street and he has a lab/sheppard mix. The woman has told him that he needs to walk his dog on the other side of the street if she is out in her front yard because she doesn't trust the dog or the owner's capability of controlling his dog!!!!

The other two are from the backyard neighbours....one had an ignorant discussion with the husband (this guy has 2 dogs, one a retriever mix and the other a Pit bull) and the other one has 2 dauschands (sorry spelling) and a super loveable black mutt, he had it out with the woman over barking. How she hears his dogs barking is beyond me, these back yards are huge first of all and secondly the only time I have heard his dogs bark in the five years I have lived here is when Zoe was running around with one of the daushands in their yard. He was told the same thing I was, that the baby goes to bed at 8 and she doesn;t want to hear barking dogs that could wake the baby

It's not just me!!!! Do you know what kind of relief I felt hearing other people stories?? I got the idea from a friend of mine I was talking with last night, I was telling her the latest and she said "why not ask around the neighbourhood?" I was a little uncomfy at first but I figured what the heck, all the people around here know me from walking Zoe, it's not like they are total strangers. And it's easy to strike up a conversation about dogs when you own one.....and I hit the jackpot.

Oh and the yard was back to normal this morning. everything was put back were it came from. What a bizarre woman.

[Rainy]

Does this nut job have a husband and are his views just as nuts?I would have handed that list back to her and told her to give the list to her shrink.I bet that would be the last time she would have talked to me.Good luck!

[aslan]

well it is very good news to hear that others have had issues with this whackjob. As far as i know, it's not disturbing the peace until 11 oclock so pffffft on her. And isn't it true that you should have some noise while the baby is sleeping so it will learn to tune it out. My mom use to keep our house silent and every little noise wakes me. my sister just functioned as usual, tv blaring etc, my nephew could sleep through a bomb.

I'd get the other neighbours to put in writing and sign what their experiences were with this loon and add it to your stuff. You should get together with these people and the womans husband to fill him in on her antics.

[dogcatharmony]

Apparantly the hubby is as whacky as the wife. He is the one who had the talk with the backyard neighbour. I get an eebie-jeebie feeling off him to begin with. I have never seen him talk myself, whenever he sees me he runs away. If we happen to be BBQing at the same time he will go inside and wait till I am done.......he is a quiet kinda spooky fellow.......hard to explain. I just steer clear of him.

[Rainy]

Sell,sell,sell!!!!Or go buy yourself some scary haloween music and play that every time you see him outside!Take a walk around your premises with chicken bones dangling on a string and chant loudly.Pretend you have nervous ticks when they are outside and apologise,explaining that these social ticks are harmless but a result of stress and they may get worse!Start a pool with your neighbours to see how quickly they put the house up for sale!
Print up petfinder pics of the dogs on her list and gush about how you may be getting one of them next week!I'll try to think of more if these don't work.

[babymomma]

I agree with Rainy! you gotta fight fire with fire. If shes a loony tooney physcopathic B-I Baddword, Well, you can be crazy and beat her at her own game.. I bet if you did do that and they sold, You'd have a great feeling of self Pride... I would love it if i could do that! lol

[want4rain]

wise words Aslan!!

dogcatharmony, its great to hear others are having the same issues (well... maybe not cause that means she is a pain in EVERYONES ass!!!) hopefully you guys can come up with a solution of some sort.... a gag or something! i just hate youre going through this. my neighbor was pretty bad but this woman is a real nut job!! there has to be something you can do to get her to stop harassing you. a restraining order??? a little credit from the other neighbors is nice too.

-ashley

[TeriM]

Sounds like a pretty bad situation . Have you asked the neighbour if they would consider splitting the costs of installing the fence?

[chaelleigh]

I have been reading all these posts dated back to May and I have to say I know what you're going through. My grandma has lived in her house for 40 years, and about 4 years ago she got a new neighbor. This lady has a little boy, and about a year after they moved in (the first summer they spent here) my grandma was outside with her dog, Bubba. Bubba was a beautiful Weimaraner who, very suddenly passed 3 weeks ago at the age of six. So one day they are outside, my grandma, the neighbor, the kid and the dog. The dog is on his leash tied to my grandmas porch and the neighbor kid wonders over with a sucker in his hand. The neighbor isn't watching her kid, who is waving the sucker around and Bubba saw his chance to take a bite but missed (the kid saw him coming and jerked) nipped the kid in the neck. Lady freaks out, sues my grandma'a insurance company (kid didn't even need 1 stitch btw) and wins $1,200.00 in medical costs and missed work. 3 YEARS LATER they are STILL going at it, and my grandma is CONVINCED the neighbor poisoned Bubba. I bought the house on the other side of the neighbor 2 years ago and tried to make peace, but no dice. I wasn't even involved and the lady called the Realtor who sold me the house and threatened to sue him if he sold it me!! Moral of the story here kiddos is that closed minded folks like that will never change, and after 3 years of lawsuits, police reports,property surveying, fence building and outright feuding it took the suspicious death of her baby to make us realize it's time to get out before it escalates any further. We bought a large house far away and are taking my grandparents with to retire PEACEFULLY. If you get your dog to the point where she has nothing to complain about, she'll just find something else. Once we proved Bubba wasn't a vicious killer she moved on to the truck parked in back too close to her garage, then she called the police because my grandpas oxygen tank was keeping her kid awake (seriously, that was in the police report). After that my brothers work van was too noisy and he left for work too early....the list goes on and on. Unfortunately for us we took for granted Bubba's death was caused by a heart murmur he had, and had him cremated before we thought to have an autopsy to check for other things. Probably better for my grandma this way though, she'd never be able to mourn him properly if she thought she could've prevented it.
So my best advice to you is move before you find something terrible happening to you or your dog because sadly, but realistically, you don't know what people are capable of doing, ever until it's too late. Hope this helps, maybe a small good can come from a heartbreaking loss.:sad:

[Kai'smom]

Im just thinking about her giving you a list of dogs she doesnt like when she moved in. Who do people think they are?
Imagine if you had said when she moved in 'oh, your kid has red hair and freckles - i dont really like kids with freckles they freak me out'.
Sometimes you just gotta laugh (or you'll cry!)
Good luck mate!

[Love4himies]

I think in this situation you have to protect your butt and be the mature person. I would definitely swap written testimonies with your dog neighbours and have a meeting with animal control and/or police to get their recommendations, follow up with something in writing of their recommendations and then retain a lawyer. If you are forced to sell, I would be suing her for any real estate costs involved.

I do agree with Gail P and ask if they will pay for half the fence, if not sue, you are putting it up for their benefit, not yours.

Why do some people think that everybody should accommodate them

This can't be easy on you, I often wonder why people like this move into a subdivision if they are not going to be happy. Move out to the country with no close neighbours.

[aslan]

lol, do you think you could imitate the signs of terrets(sp) everytime her or her company are outside go out and garden or something and give them a show. whooping, and swearing, etc.

Ok now really, get the stuff together and speak to the police/lawyer whomever so there is a record long before this bimbo pulls anything. If she starts to cause more serious crap you then have something on record and will be easier to put a restraining order on her. I think the best way to back this woman off is to beat her to the first punch. She sounds like she's used to getting her own way, just by whining and bullying. Just out of curiosity where abouts in ontario are you.

[JennieV]

Dogcatharmony,
I feel really bad about you having to deal with it. How about talking to the others and seeing what extent are they willing to go to? Are they willing to do written testimonies?
Its nice to keep a sense of humour in this situation, though sometimes things aren't funny at all. Do you think you guys can all gang up on her and make her life a little less comfortable? Like, have parties, BBQ's with neighbours and the dogs, make the dogs bark from 8pm till about 11pm, so her kid can't sleep and drives her bonkers...LOL...:sad: Its sad that we have to resort to this kind of thinking, because of her ignorance, intolerance and stupidity. :sad:

[lotus]

WOW I thought this would be over for you by now. Your neighbor is not only nuts she is very immature. This can't be good for you or Zoe:sad: I would have to side with every one that has said document and take photos cover your butt ,get the other dog neighbors to join forces and make sure there is police and animal control involvement ,this looks like it's going to get messy Her and her husband sound like realand can't be reasoned with. As for a fence if they fight you on that use the kid and their bad parenting as your defense. I wish you the best of luck.No one should have to go through this.

[dogcatharmony]

Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

I have to say that a couple of them had me cracking right up. I am going to stay on my best behavior because I dont want to give her anything she could use against me in anyway. I have to remember to watch my language, watch how I say things so they don't get percieved as a threat and so on. After the other nights activities I think I may have underestimated my opponent.

The other people that have had problems with her all said that they would be willing to talk to the police. I was also given a name of a police officer that just moved into area, maybe a mile or so away from where I live. He is a big dog lover, and owns two bullies of his own and also has three small children. I was told that he would be the one to talk to because he doesn't believe a dog is just a dog. Amazing how quick word travels between neighbours. Now all I have to do is get up the courage to talk to a total stranger and hope I don't look like a total nut job. Police make me so nervous even when I am doing nothing wrong......i just feel guilty for nothing. So I guess they is some hope even though I am more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I don't know if I should call the station and ask for him, or just go to the house and say so and so gave me your name and said I should talk to you.

Also today I was talking with my mother and she just tore down all her gardens this summer. She has this eight foot long and at least six maybe seven feet high wall thingy that she had vines growing on, it is metal and kinda fence like. She asked if I would like it, she used it as a privacy shield from her neighbours. Of course right now there would be no vines closing it in but she said we could just secure it and then plant the plants so that next year the vines would grow and block them out. I told her I would take it so she is going to try to get it to me this weekend, if not next week. We shall see if it will do anything......keep fingers crossed.

Chaelliegh...thank you for sharing your story. It is so sad that your grandmom's dog passed away. It is so scary to have to deal with a dog hating neighbour.....I never in a million years ever thought it could be this scary.

And Aslan, I live in Sault Ste Marie on the outskirts of the cities west end.

[want4rain]

better watch it just showing up at the door like that.... cops know when us civies are terrified of them. like a shark smelling blood or something....



which usually works to my advantage. most of them have felt so bad that im almost in tears and will do just about anything reasonable to make it better. just go ask him when its a good time to contact him to talk about it. going up there with loads of documents and papers will just put him on the spot.

just remember, cops like helping good people make peace. its their job you know.

-ash