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  #61  
Old August 21st, 2008, 11:03 AM
joeysmama joeysmama is offline
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Why was she rattling your door and then complaining about your dog??? It sounds as though she is phobic about dogs in general. she should stay away and teach her child to stay on their property. This takes diligence if the child is young but no more than diligence than what you're providing. She expects you to keep live your life around hers it seems.

She's depending on YOU to keep her baby safe from your <dripping with sarcasm here> "big vicious monster".

The problem is that she won't take the time to learn how to be around dogs safely and one of these times she's going to panic because the the baby wants to touch the dog or something and then she's going to lunge at Zoe or whatever. It doesn't sound as if Zoe would ever hurt a flea but who knows what would happen if this woman makes her feel threatened. Or if she winds up grabbing the child and scratching him herself---you know she would blame that on Zoe.

I would beg borrow or steal to get a fence of any sort put up. Fences make good neighbors. And I would explain it "oh so sweetly" . Say that "Everyone who knows Zoe knows what a gentle dog she is and how much she likes children. I think that in time you'll be pleased to find out that she'll even be protective of your child. But you seem to be so uncomfortable and that's no way to live so I thought it might make you feel better if we put up a fence until you get to know Zoe better and feel more comfortable."

Act as though you're doing her a favor and then try to have as little contact as possible.
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  #62  
Old August 21st, 2008, 07:50 PM
JennieV JennieV is offline
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Any news??
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  #63  
Old August 21st, 2008, 08:17 PM
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Could you get a restraining order for something like this?

Honestly, I'd tell her to shove it. I wouldn't even waste my time trying to be nice. People like this are ridiculous. I have some neighbors who hate cats. And everyone knows I'm cuckoo about kitties. My one neighbor right next to me (townhouses) comes out and yells at me about how she is either allergic or afraid of cats (it changes from time to time) and blah blah blah. One time I found some kittens wandering in my yard and they slipped under the fence into her yard, and she had the nerve to accuse me of 'putting kittens in her yard' on purpose. In reality, I was rounding the littler critters up to find them new homes.


Your neighbor is insane. I agree with whoever said to start fostering all the kinds of dogs she had on her list. You can do whatever you like on your own property and she has no right to tell you what to do when you take good care of your doggy.

If I could I'd help you out by slapping some sense into her... I'm still a minor for another 15 months

Anyways good luck. I was lucky enough to have my grandmom and my best friend live on either side of me when I had my two rotties at my old house.
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  #64  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 06:46 AM
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nice.

slap that in the mouth!
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  #65  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 08:13 AM
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dogcatharmony dogcatharmony is offline
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I am off to mail a register letter this morning. Thank you for your help JennieV (oh and I sent you an email, but silly me I can't remember if I hit the send button or if I just closed the window without sending it).

I have started writing everything down. Weird how when you list all the interactions you just can't believe that it took this long to finally say "WTH is wrong with this ???" How did I manage to get along this far??

I am going to look at possible fencing this weekend.

Let's just hope that she can see my point and that it takes both of us to provide a safe area for the dog and child. It's not 100% my job to control the whole situation. In a way it does make me a little mad that because I own the dog that my % is expected to be higher. IMO a small child can be as "unpredictable" also, maybe more so because I know I can tell what my dog's body language is saying. I just hope she takes the letter the right way.

Thankyou all for your advice and help. And thanks again JennieV....that letter draft was Awesome!!!!
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  #66  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 08:48 AM
JennieV JennieV is offline
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Good Luck!

I am very happy to help, I hope things work out. I got your email too...LOL..
I know it can be hard, since she is your neighbour and you have to live with her side by side, but trust me, the more you cover your own behind - the better.
Sending my and that everything will go ok.
If you want, you could tell her that you sent her a letter, and explain in short why, just like you did here, that you feel unsafe and stressed and express hope that she will understand your point of view. Don't go into too many details, thats why there's the letter.
At least, that way she won't be taken by surprise and won't be TOO bitter about it. Hopefully. But if she is -blow it off, she is a anyway.
Take care and keep us posted!!!
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  #67  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 10:21 AM
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  #68  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 01:16 PM
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dogcatharmony, I just read this thread now and I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. You certainly have a real for a neighbour and a lot more patience than I would have had.

The registered letter sounds like a great idea....I hope it works and she comes to her senses. It's very frustrating to have jerks for neighbours and I hope she isn't too bullheaded and become more of a beotch.

Good luck and keep us posted.
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  #69  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 01:33 PM
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Just a thought. You said your shared side of the yard is about 150 ft. Could you maybe do a partial fence? Like the first 50 ft or so? If the child is really young he probably wouldn't go that far without his control freak momma going after him.
Also, sounds to me like this very thread is a good form of evidence. You didn't come on looking to bash her. You came on looking for solutions to your problems. So....print it out. You never know. Just my
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  #70  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 01:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 14+kitties View Post
Also, sounds to me like this very thread is a good form of evidence. You didn't come on looking to bash her. You came on looking for solutions to your problems. So....print it out. You never know. Just my

Excellent idea.
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  #71  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 03:07 PM
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Yes I could print it off and add it with my journal.....only thing I am a computer loser and I have no idea how to print something off the internet. Would I have to print it post by post......like when I left click my mouse it gives me an option to print. Do I use that??


Oh and 14+.......I did consider putting up a partial fence. I got thinking that if I only did a bit then you know that the mother would be letting the kid run around in the yard and her guard may be down because part of a fence was up. It could be possible for him to out run if he was already near the fence and thought to be safe....you know what I mean?? Plus he is only going to get faster.

And another thing I was thinking that putting up only a partial fence could mean more surprise if she decided to come into my yard. Right now we can see her coming. If she just decided to pop around the fence.....I would be worried how Zoe would react. Not saying anything would happen, I know Zoe can smell them first...but sometimes she can get busy inspecting something a little to close and even I can startle her. She acts like an embarrased goof-ball when you get her off guard.......but I need to be totally safe. I don't think a partial fence would give me the level of safeness I need with her.

At least that is what I think.
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  #72  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 03:18 PM
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Oh, when I said partial fence I thought you were still going with the deer fence idea. Just wire to keep the child and Zoe apart but you can still see through it. More attractive than snow fence although snow fence you could still see through as well. I thought put up part now, the next part when you could afford it, the next part when you could afford it. I wasn't thinking a wooden fence. That would be too costly for you right now you said.

As for printing... you should be able to just right click and hit print. If that doesn't work you could highlight each page and print out a page at a time. You could also try hitting the print icon at the top of your browser.
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Assumptions do nothing but make an ass out of u and me.

We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!

Last edited by 14+kitties; August 22nd, 2008 at 04:57 PM.
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  #73  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 03:22 PM
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I would also use the wire fence. I think it's called field and farm fencing. We got ours at Home Hardware Building Centre and Timbrmart......it comes in big rolls and is pretty sturdy.
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  #74  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 03:27 PM
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oops my mistake 14+.......I was thinking wooden fence. I tossed around the idea of putting a wooden fence up section by section, so that was already on my mind. If I go with the deer fencing I am doing the whole side, I can move the fencing over to the back of my yard later........which is really a plus for me because I would love a totally fenced yard......its just so big of a yard that totally fencing it in with wood, would be a small fortune. If i could get it all fenced......well then the day that happens Zoe gets a buddy and they can run around like furry freaks all day long.

The deer fence idea really was handy because on my other neighbour's side we have 270 feet of cedar hedge (I have a L-shaped yard, long on one side, really really long on the other)......I didn't know what I could put up against the cedars.....deer fencing looks perfect
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Last edited by dogcatharmony; August 22nd, 2008 at 03:29 PM. Reason: spelling
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  #75  
Old August 22nd, 2008, 04:56 PM
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No problem. I can be confusing at times.
When you get the playmate for Zoe it's gonna be a doberman, shephard, boxer, rottweiler, pit bull, dane and husky mix, right?
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  #76  
Old August 26th, 2008, 11:02 AM
Daizy Daizy is offline
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Hi Dogcatharmoney,
Is there an update on your neighbour after getting your letter?
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  #77  
Old August 26th, 2008, 02:30 PM
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I think they have gone away on a vacation......there has been no one around since the weekend. I was just coming on to ask what happens with my letter now?? I know they have to sign to get it......if no one is home to pick it up what happens??? Does it get sent back to me??

Fine time to go on holidays!!!! At least Zoe has been having fun relaxing outside. She was sunbathing all morning, just sprawled right out on the back stairs. It sure is a welcomed break from the stress though. I even managed to get a few rays myself without being on full watch.

And yes 14+, when I get a friend for Zoe it is going to be the muttiest mutt possible of all the "bad" dogs
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  #78  
Old August 26th, 2008, 02:33 PM
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Well geezz, did she ask your permission to go on holidays? She seems to always want to put her two cents worth (and it's not) in on your business.
I can't answer the question about registered mail cause I'm not sure. I would think they would keep trying for a while and then send it back to you.
Did you have any luck with the fence? What a perfect time to put one up, while they are gone.

Good Luck! And I am glad you are considering the brattiest dog you can find.
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We can stick our heads in the sand for only so long before it starts choking us. Face it folks. The pet population is bad ALL OVER THE WORLD!
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  #79  
Old August 26th, 2008, 02:49 PM
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you were thinking the same thing I was 14+. It had to be Sunday night and I was peeking outside thinking "were the heck are they???".....I find it funny that I didn't get a list of approved things to do while they are gone. I actually thought....well how rude to just leave and not let me know.

I did look around for fencing with no luck. Lots of wooden fence packages, rolls of galvanized steel fencing. I asked at one of stores about deer fencing, and they showed me a net-like thing. Almost looked like fishing net material. Mind you I didn't travel far from home, I broke my elbow back in June and have just started rehab so it hurts like heck to drive. So I checked out the three hardware stores right near me. I have plans to get up to the big retail stores this weekend .........hopefully my neighbours are on a two week vacation. It would be nice to pop up a fence without them around. I have the man-power, the people who live on the other side of the nasty neighbours have offered their services as long as I supply the beer. Now why can't they be MY next door neighbours?????
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  #80  
Old August 26th, 2008, 02:51 PM
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My god, you are doing everything you can possibly do to make your neighbor's comfortable; they should be thankful. I honestly don't know what else you can do to make it better. I guess my suggestion would be to sit down and talk with your neighbor without dogs or kids involved (so not when a "situation" is taking place). Maybe you can point out to your neighbor all you have done to make them feel good about Zoe, and also point out that you are totally on top of monitoring your dog and that you are doing so on your own property. I think that talking with them at least REMINDS them of all you are doing, and hopefully remind THEM that they need to make changes, TOO. I have a newborn son and a 110 lb dog and EVERYONE, dog, baby, parents need to make adjustments...not just dog.

Good luck.

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  #81  
Old August 26th, 2008, 02:54 PM
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Mmmmmm, maybe whilst the newbies are gone you and their other side neighbours can get together and trade houses. As in they move into hers and move all of her stuff to their place. Then they could deal with her? NAH! Wouldn't work! But you can dream.
Good luck on finding some fencing. It's too bad chicken wire didn't come in higher sizes. You can get rolls 50 feet long but they are only 4 feet high. Not high enough!
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  #82  
Old September 2nd, 2008, 01:07 PM
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Well here's an update..........

I take it that my neighbour received her letter. I was out in the front yard cleaning up garbage and she walked halfway in her yard with her kid on a leash and yelled "you happy NOW???" and stomped back up her driveway into the house.

Apparently me asking for BOTH of us to work on keeping the entire situation safe was taken the wrong way. I never asked her to leash her kid, although in my mind I do believe that it is the best for the child's safety, Mom now has full control and is only a few steps behind instead of sprinting after a toddling child.

So I was thinking ok...so she is mad....oh well, been there done that. I go out back to put Zoe out for a pee and she has moved all the lawnchairs and patio table right to the property line and the kid's pool too!!! I could dip my toes in the pool from my back deck

So far the fence is still a no go.......I need to find someone with a post hole digger as my entire back yard is clay and the only place that rents one costs an arm and a leg to use.

My only hope is to pray for an early winter and start building snowbanks....then by spring a fence would be paid for and put up quickly because I am not putting up with another summer like this one.
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  #83  
Old September 2nd, 2008, 01:19 PM
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sorry but the visual of the kid on a leash just amuses me to no end. This woman is not only controling, but childish too. Her moving all the childs stuff right next to your property just shows that. LOL, we have a small garbage can lined with a garbage bag that we put all our poop in until garbage day. I would so move it right next to where her kids stuff is, guaranteed she moves the stuff quickly. Seriously now, she chose to react childishly. At this point i would totally ignore her. If she is outside, don't acknowledge her. If she speaks to you respond politely and move on.

oh and as for the fence, an easier way for you to do it if you are putting in 4x4 wooden posts, just buy the 4' metal spikes, then you just need a hunk of 4x4 and a sledge hammer. No digging involved and they are pretty much as stable as sinking the posts especially if your going into clay.

Last edited by aslan; September 2nd, 2008 at 01:21 PM.
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  #84  
Old September 2nd, 2008, 01:20 PM
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Why is a woman, who is so concerned about her child's safety, placing her child's play things so close to your property line???? Get pictures if you can. Why isn't she asking for a fence to protect her child? Sounds like she just wants to control you and her concerns over her daughter's safety is just her way of trying to do so.
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  #85  
Old September 2nd, 2008, 02:01 PM
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Aslan.......you would totally die laughing if you saw the leash. It has a stuffed monkey that wraps it's arms around the body and the tail is the leash.

As for the poop bucket idea...well my backdoor is right there next to where all the stuff is.......I would stink myself out also. And then flies would get in the house and Zoe would have a heart attack.....silly bean is terrified of flies.

I don't know what her logic is on moving the stuff close to my house.....I do agree it is very very childish. I have a hard time with stupid people, I hate to have to use the word stupid, but this what I see with this last stunt. There was nothing rude in the letter I sent. It was very polite and to the point. I guess she feels that I am making her totally responsible......well how does it feel, I have been the only one trying all summer long. I am not going to stop with my part, no way....I am not risking my dog over foolishness.

I have a feeling that I am going to have to get totally blunt with her. No more trying to be polite and accomodating. I don't know ......this is just frustrating.

And Love4himies......I already have the fence posts, my mother got me a load of cedar posts but told me I was on my own for digging holes and wished me luck.
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  #86  
Old September 2nd, 2008, 02:12 PM
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how long are the posts your mom gave you like 6' 8'? are they 4x4's. The spikes i'm talking about go 4' into the ground so it's like digging without the work. My whole yard is fenced in with them. These are what i'm talking about, they're about $7. each at home depot.
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  #87  
Old September 2nd, 2008, 02:26 PM
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If you haven't already, might be about time to get some orange spray paint and mark the property line. If it were me, I'd just go to a cheapo store and buy some 2 dollar dinky garden fence and use that.
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  #88  
Old September 2nd, 2008, 02:45 PM
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I love the garden fencing idea myself - make it the kind with the spikes on top of it though!

I think that you have went above and beyond being nice here - I like the idea of the poop can next to the kids pool, what about moving it just down the side of your house so that the lovely aroma isn't lost to the neighbors, but Zoe doesn't have to be confronted with flies??? I think I'd also "trip" while taking loads to that can - the kids pool would make a nice dropping point I would think.
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  #89  
Old September 2nd, 2008, 02:54 PM
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Wow, your neighbor totally needs some hobbies other than making it her personal mission to p*ss you off!

So sorry you're her neighbor. She sounds like that type of person who would find a way to make trouble no matter who (canine, human, otherwise) was next to her.

Some people just need DRAMA!

I smile big and wave happily at our local crazy person in our townhouse complex. Her face puckers up and she scowls every time I do it. Her reaction makes me remember that she's not at all interested in having peace and that there's absolutely nothing I can do to make that wench happy.
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Old September 2nd, 2008, 06:04 PM
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Wow dogcatharmony!! I have been following this thread but hadn't had a chance to respond...I am absolutely dying at the idea of a fuzzy monkey leash on that kid!!

While I know that isn't what you meant for her to do...take comfort in knowing that now she is being bothered and inconvenienced instead of you for a change!!

Alas, the summer is practically over and hopefully by the next summer you will be able to put your fence up, or even better yet, maybe they'll MOVE!!

such a shame about the little one getting such a negative experience with dogs..she will grow up with that fear, which is so unfair and unecessary.

Zoe sounds like such a sweet girl, I'm glad at least one parent in this equation is doing things right.

It is crazy how these parents don't watch their kids around dogs..then if the dog ends up biting because the kid is tugging its ears or something the dog can get put down!

I work with a rescue group and we do 'adoption shows' all the time, at a public pet store. You stand and handle a dog..sometimes it was my own foster, other times I'd just met the dog that morning. Regardless, I have to be on watch non-stop because kids will just run up on the dog, or walk past it with a treat in their hands, or approach them with their palm down...etc. Parents nowhere to be found! I do my best if I can get the kid's attention to try to spend a minute or two explaining the proper way to approach a dog..I hope they listened!

Best of luck to you! I wish I could mail you a fence!!
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