Do Not Know What To Do!!!

[Rottielover]

I am being honest, have done everything to stay honest. Just it is alot harder to type than to speak it. As for crate training, that is her security blanket. she sleeps there when I am not home, or she will get anxious. She loves her crate, never ever used it as her punishment. I have a feeling if I was to take away that, there possibly could be more problems. When I am home, or BF is awake she is loose. As for working with her, I have been doing this since she became healthy as of 8 months. AS stated, I got PG when about that time. from then we worked hard. At that point my BF did not live with me. But when he visited, I could see her fear. From that point on as I said trainers, behaviourist. they do not see the exact problem other than he triggers something in her. She has never even looked at the baby a wrong way, only with love and submission. What else did I forget????

[poodletalk]

In her old homes, the men of the house scared her. From what I understand, the fear has been going on for a quite awhile, it has gotten worst since he moved in.

You need to speak to an animal trainer/behavorlist that can help you. Rehoming to her a home where theres no men, no men walking by doesn't exisit. Do you think the new owners would be willing to help her with her fears when they don't even now her!? You KNOW and LOVE her for the past couple of years, SHE NEEDS YOU!

[Lucky Rescue]

Do you think the new owners would be willing to help her with her fears when they don't even now her!? You KNOW and LOVE her for the past couple of years

This is what we tell people calling us to rehome their animals with behavior problems - cat spraying/avoiding litterbox, dog who bites.

If the person who raised and supposedly loves this animal cannot tolerate this, why would some stranger who does not know and love it??

[sammiec]

First off there has been som every useful information posted her from many members. If I were you I'd write some of those items down and get started. the first thing would be to turn her crate so that she has a "private" entrance and is not right in the middle of a high traffic area of your home. I would cover one end with the blanket as suggested so that she feels hse has her own den. Locking her into her "safe spot" when your BF is around will not cure her problems. They will make her afraid of her safe spot.
If you really are her secruity blanket - why woudl you want to take that away from her as well. By rehoming her would you not only be confusing her when she is fearful, but you're taking away the only thing/person that makes her feel safe. That's a receipe for disaster.

[Rottielover]

PLEASe do not try and make me feel more guilty about this.....I already feel bad enough. I am trying to say That is my BF is the main trigger, wouldn't it be better for her sanity to remove the trigger. Rehoming her into a place that will not have him around ????

[poodletalk]

NO! Her problem is MEN, not just your boyfriend. For her sanity, she needs to get over this fear. Speak to your vet about this. Like I said, I can recommend a great trainer, and I can also recommend a FANTASTIC VET. Just incase you aren't happy with what people are telling you. If you want, why don't you just speak to them and see what they say.

[pags]

Well.. I googled variations of the phrase "my dog doesn't like my boyfriend" and what I found is a lot of the suggestions people have already given here... One of them is something I noticed Luba said but I'm not sure if you said it was tried... and it involves treats. You know -- the way to a dog's heart? Has your BF tried just walking around with really scrumptous treats in his pockets all day and dropping/handing them to her throughout the day when she doesn't show a fear response? I mean.. not just when she's being lovey dovey -- but just for sitting there and not responding too? I guess the idea is that your BF becomes something of the candy man -- a 100% positive experience.

I sort of took this one for granted and didn't think about mentioning it. But would he be willing to walk around smelling like bacon and being the treat man or something for a while?

I'm editing now -- I guess what I'm asking is - is your BF willing to try anymore or is he too at his wit's end? Cause any of these suggestions would really require his cooperation too.

[Rottielover]

I will talk to another trainer, BUT I trust my vet completely, she has been nothing but honest. JUST A QUESTION. if it is all men, why only my BF, and once in a blue moon another man ?????

[Cactus Flower]

But would he be willing to walk around smelling like bacon or something for a while?

Pags, you are adorable!

Sounds like good advice- and I agree with everything you said in your previous post, as well.

[Luba]

LMHO @ pags walking around smelling like bacon HAHAHA

To a degree this is very true!

I need to ask how does you bf react to her? Does he 'like' her or is he frustrated with her? This is important....and yes be honest. Is he soft and gentle with her or abrasive and irritated, laughs at her when she's scared?

Don't coddle her as mentioned before...IGNORE the fear and change it into something fun and exciting. IT CAN BE IMPROVED!

The cage issue is huge, read over my suggestion about that and Sammiec's!

[Rottielover]

tried that for quite some time, even tried having him feed her by hand....The ONLY way she took it from him was outside, and with the other dog around.

[Luba]

Oh yes and what about some form of agility class or flyball...something for her to boost her self esteem?? Something your bf can join in on!

If your bf happens to be the ONLY one to give her treats on an ONGOING basis and he IS a good soft sensitive type of guy..she WILL have no choice but to fall for him

[LL1]

He's the main man she has contact with.Happens alot.

Originally Posted by Rottielover

I will talk to another trainer, BUT I trust my vet completely, she has been nothing but honest. JUST A QUESTION. if it is all men, why only my BF, and once in a blue moon another man ?????

[Luba]

We posted at the same time....

about the food she will eat when she is hungry and when it it something yummie that she cannot resist. KEEP IT UP don't stop it, keep doing it!

[Rottielover]

He loves her, does not get frustrated with her. He wants to help her. But he too is down in the dumps with what is happening. The cage right now is right next to Harley in the living room, in a corner. left open in the day when I am home if she wants to go in. We have a towel on top of it holding a plant, LOL

[poodletalk]

Thats a start...it NOT an over night miracle to get over these fears. He will feed her outside, slowly he will get closer to the backdoor with her feeding out of his hand. Eventually, she will be taking stuff out of his hand inside. You must be slow and patient!

[Rottielover]

SHE has refused steak from him, do not tell me that is normal

[Luba]

Ok so move the cage so that she has privacy somewhere AWAY from foot traffic with a blanket covering the side facing OUT to the foot traffic area, and the cage door open facing sideways.

[Rottielover]

ok will do that tonight.......OH ya, we are going to regress soon, my BF is out of town for 3 weeks, NOW what do I do ??????

[Luba]

So she refused it 1 x or 10 x maybe the 11th time she'll take it!

You can't reward her and then give it to her yourself, HE has to be the one to feed her. Like I said.....he can toss it to her on the floor ten feet away at first. SHE WILL EAT IT!!

YOU HAVE TO NOT BE IN THE ROOM OR THE OTHER PUPPY!! Just him and her...toss a piece of meat tell her she's a good girl. PRAISE HER WHEN SHE TAKES IT! The next piece toss at 9 feet, then 8 then 7 and so on until she's closer....BUT this may take several attempts DON'T give up on her.

Besides maybe she'd prefer chicken to steak

[Luba]

Boyfriend feeds her BEFORE he leaves to go out of town.

Use one of his stinky body odoured tshirts and put it on top of her bedding in her crate. Then HE puts more treats in there on TOP of his stinky shirt.

DO NOT let the pup go for it and YOU DO NOT TELL HER it is there HE has to tell her!!

When he returns, he goes and puts a piece of yummies in the crate where the others were on his stinky sweaty shirt LOL

[poodletalk]

Maybe shes a vegaterian....

[pags]

Originally Posted by Luba

Besides maybe she'd prefer chicken to steak

LOL Luba -- I was going to say I've known some dogs who didn't necessarily like steak. But seriously Rottie - you've gotta find something she just LOVES and let HIM be the benefactor - the bacon man! A special treat - just from him.. and all that other stuff that Luba said.

[Rottielover]

NO veggie there, she eats the steak from the floor when he tosses it. But the second I leave the room, she comes after me, or will go to her cage and hide.

[pags]

Originally Posted by poodletalk

Maybe shes a vegaterian....

ROFL poodle - that's even better!!

And the stinky shirt thing is the BEST!!! We let our puppy sleep with one of my husband's stinkiest shirts during the day since he's gone for work most of the day and I'm getting to do all the fun bonding.

[Daisy's Owner]

Originally Posted by Rottielover

NO veggie there, she eats the steak from the floor when he tosses it. But the second I leave the room, she comes after me, or will go to her cage and hide.

Maybe I am totally off base here, but maybe you being there is her current comfort level. Have your BF give her treats while you are there until the pup can sit beside him or whatever. Then you move further away but still in eyesight and start all over again from 10 ft then 9 etc. Keep doing this until you are no longer in the room. If the pup gets to the point of stress, go back to the last step where the pup was comfortable and start again.

This is not an exercise that can be accomplished in one evening. It is going to take weeks.

[Rottielover]

I am willing to try all this, but please do remember I have alittle girl running around too, and I can not ignore her. I am thinking about maybe adding another OB class to her name. my BF won't be there, that's the problem..he has a second job. Will another OB course help if it is only with me ??

[Luba]

A play group will help her self esteem.

The more YOU are there the more she will sucky to you and not to herself.

You can do all these things when the kid is sleeping or napping..I"m sure the baby goes to bed before you.

Just do it, stop what if'ing everything and just do it or I'll throw a banana creme pie at ya

[sammiec]

You're not the "problem" it's your BF, and for things to get better he MUST be apart of the training otherwise, what's the point?!?! HE needs to give the treats, and training, and they need to develop a bond not YOU! You can care for your daughter, you're not ignoring her... this training and bonding is for THEM!

[Rottielover]

The OB class is not an option for him....Unfortunetly. I will do what is suggested. I was just told today, that althought she did not like it, he took her for a walk with my other one . He really is trying to make an effort