Considering rehoming and need advice

[shibamom]

I never, EVER, thought it would come to this, but I am considering rehoming my Shiba Inu. If you can help us out with some advice to hopefully avoid the issue, please, I would love to hear it.

Our Shiba Inu is 5 years old. He is a wonderful dog. We got him at 9 weeks old and he was our baby. When he was 1, our first child was born. They were great together. We walked all the time with the baby in the sling.

The problem is now that our son is much older, nearly 4 years old. He is autistic, and moderate to severe. He does not speak, he screeches and wails, constantly (I'm sure you can picture what I mean).

My dog is just not adjusting to this. It has been almost 2 years since this behaviour has started. He is constantly upset, cowers, shakes, his tail tucks under, he tries to get outside asap. He's always sad. This dog is never happy anymore, except on his walks (which he still gets). The walks are another problem - he can get them during the weekend just fine, but I need to bring out son during the week. And the dog absolutely hates it. My discipline voice terrifies the dog, but there is no way I can do it without a certain tone of voice.

We've had another boy since then (he's 1) and him and the dog are great together. He's great with other kids that are "normal".

I cannot "fix" my autistic son's behaviour. This isn't a case of a bratty kid - they do not hurt the dog, tease, pull him. They love him. I feel bad for Simba, but I don't know what to do.

He will be started special-ed school in September, should I just wait it out and see if the "break" from him helps a lot? I will still be at home with the other baby but the older child will not be.

[marko]

I'm so sorry to be reading this shibamom. I know we like to say that pets are for life, but sometimes life throws us hard curveballs and hard decisions have to be made.

If I was in your position i too would consider rehoming....but perhaps we can offer some help/advice.

Perhaps there a few things that could be done that might still be able to help you. The first thing that comes to my mind is desensitization. I might try to record your child's voice and play it at a reduced volume during something the dog likes (perhaps a walk). Gradually I'd increase the volume to where it matches your son's voice. This might get the dog to become desensitized to the wailing and outbursts.

I'd be very curious to hear what other members advise as we have some very experienced and smart members.

If nothing worked and I did need to rehome the dog...the best candidates might be people that already know the dog. Gradual visits to their home would be my preference along with bringing a tshirt with the smell of any new potential owner.

This is so hard - I'm so sorry for your situation and I hope some members may have additional suggestions or insight.

Good luck!

[Goldfields]

That is such a sad situation, shibamom. I have seen both my breeds react badly to children who have had a handicap. One was my nephew, my sister didn't realise he was deaf as he lost his hearing after learning to speak, and had taught himself how to lip read. The dog knew it though, I had my then fiance's cattle dog at my place and it kept wanting to heel Peter. Pete did regain his hearing after an op.. The other was a Downes Syndrome girl who came here with her mother. I had Tammy (Sheltie) locked up and they insisted I let her out. Of course she had been watching the child, knew there was something not right, and she immediately flew in and bit her. Most embarrassing. So, you are lucky your dog hasn't attacked at least, but what a shame it's scaring the dog. September is such a long way off. I don't know what to say, honestly. I know you must love the dog.

[Barkingdog]

Originally Posted by marko

I'm so sorry to be reading this shibamom. I know we like to say that pets are for life, but sometimes life throws us hard curveballs and hard decisions have to be made.

If I was in your position i too would consider rehoming....but perhaps we can offer some help/advice.

Perhaps there a few things that could be done that might still be able to help you. The first thing that comes to my mind is desensitization. I might try to record your child's voice and play it at a reduced volume during something the dog likes (perhaps a walk). Gradually I'd increase the volume to where it matches your son's voice. This might get the dog to become desensitized to the wailing and outbursts.

I'd be very curious to hear what other members advise as we have some very experienced and smart members.

If nothing worked and I did need to rehome the dog...the best candidates might be people that already know the dog. Gradual visits to their home would be my preference along with bringing a tshirt with the smell of any new potential owner.

This is so hard - I'm so sorry for your situation and I hope some members may have additional suggestions or insight.

Good luck!

What if shibamoms made the same sounds as her son in a playful way when playing with her dog , Shiba may learn to associate the sounds as a good thing and not a threat. I know if I say a word to my dog in a playful way
he will not mind, but if I say the same word as if I am mad at my dog he will back away.

[Dog Dancer]

Shibamom, what a tough spot to be in. And while we all hate the thought of rehoming our dogs, I applaud you for having the courage to put the dogs consideration up there. Not an easy thing to do. I like Marko's idea of desensitising. It can't hurt to try. Otherwise, myself I could look for a Shiba rescue. Many purebred breeders are also part of rescue groups. Is Simba from a registered breeder, you may want to start there if he is. I know with my Malamutes, I actually have it in my contract that I have to return them to the breeder if I can't keep them. My heart breaks for you Shibamom, bless your two boys and your whole family. It will all work out in the end I am sure - have faith.

[shibamom]

Thank you everyone

I will try through this winter to use the ideas you have posed. I really want to make this work out. We have another meeting with my son's psychologist next week and I will bring up the subject with her.

Yes, he is from a reputable breeder, but unfortunately since we got him, he has passed away, and his wife (co-breeder) has terrible Lupus. She will not be able to take him back in, but I'm sure she will know who would be willing to take him. He's an amazing dog with a wonderful temperament which is actually not typical of adult Shibas.

[shibamom]

I took this a few weeks ago. He's such a good boy, he loves my youngest son (who doesn't make a sound and never cried). I really hope we can work something out.

Does anyone know if there is material/literature on this subject I can read up on?

[Barkingdog]

I was wondering have you tried teaching your son some sign language ?
I use a forum for deaf and hoh people and some people where talking about how having an autistic child who not deaf or hoh but they use ASL with their child or a child they're working with. When I got my hearing dog there was a child there getting a dog to help the child feel more comfortable being around people , the dog was more of a social dog and a friend for the child.
It would be great if you could get your dog trained so he could go places with your son.

[Goldfields]

Hate to put a dampener on things but my sister feels that you may be headed for trouble with your current dog, as in it snapping and biting your son out of fear. She thinks that, at least in Oz, you can get Personal Assistance Dogs that are trained to cope with autistic children, and she added that not every dog can. Still, let's see if I can ask Michael what he thinks, he's been training dogs for a very long time.