Trust

[mummummum]

I have messed up royally. Any suggesstions are welcome.

The short story: I grabbed Declan by the scruff and made him walk.

The long story would (maybe) justify my behaviour but really isn't important at this point. This is something I have never done . When he came home just over a year ago, I knew something abusive had happened to him about his neck and head when I changed his collar.

Now, I have just spent the last who-knows-how-long apologising and loving him up. Gawd, I've spent so much time over the last year trying desensitize him to forward hugs and underneath collar rubs...

Where do I go from here ? My guess, is back to the beginning, but man what a waste of a year.

[Prin]

This may sound wack, but sometimes, when it's in a really distinct context, it doesn't carry over into every aspect of their lives... You just have to make sure it never happens again.

[hazelrunpack]

Has he regressed? Sometimes, they just shrug it off.

[rainbow]

I agree. How is he acting? I think there's a good chance he will forget about it too.

[TeriM]

Awww, don't beat yourself up to much. We've all done things in frustration that a few minutes later we were not proud of . Hopefully Declan will just shake it off.

[Prin]

Originally Posted by TeriM

We've all done things in frustration that a few minutes later we were not proud of .

Shh!! It's the dog owner's code not to talk about it ever!

[TeriM]

hehe .... time to break the code

My name is TeriM and I am a stupid dog owner .

note ... it's me that is stupid not the doggies

[Prin]

I'm Prin and my dogs are better people than I am.

[rainbow]

I'm Rainbow and my dogs love me even if I'm a naughty mommy sometimes.

[mummummum]

You guys are funny. Thanks ~ I needed a smile ~ and the hugs. We're okay today. Hopefully he has just shrugged it off as a one-time panic thing on his part and mine.

So here is the lesson learned: If you have a dog with scruff or collar issues, keep a leash in every room in the house so that in the event of an emergency, you have a means of guiding your dog safely out of danger.

[Spirit]

Omg, you guys. I was a bad mommy once too, but then I got over it. *rolls eyes*

Kick yourself quickly (and hard), make sure the dog's not actually hurt (quick injury check, and/or 5 second apology), tell the dog "Yep, you're okay" (in dog language) and the dog will get over it too. Obviously you didn't hurt your dog, and his fear of whatever happened to him in his past could be easily reinforced by how you react now.

Scruffing is a natural instinct (scruffing is what it's called when the mother carries her young around by the scruff of the neck), and should not be a source of emotional distress. Unless of course injury has occured, in which case there could still be something which could cause physical pain when touching the area. If no physical pain is present, there is no reason why your dog should fear this, and it's our jobs as pack leaders (in dog psychology, not human), to remove the fear (as mummummum knows all too well).

Honestly... you guys...

[Skryker]

mumX3. I hope Declan will shrug it off. I'm sure he recognizes a tense situation and a momentary lapse. I have a feeling that all of your other work and everyday love will more than counteract a quick reaction.

[mummummum]

No worries on the kicking myself ~ the problem is the stopping. I think we're okay ~ I've been playing with his neck and collar this morning with no adverse reaction. Who knows what happened to this poor guy? There are so many issues with him.

I am going to "up" the desentitization activities and make this a priority. With everything else we have to work on, this has been on simmer rather than boil. But, I'm still keeping leashes in every room ~ just in case !

[Prin]

So here is the lesson learned: If you have a dog with scruff or collar issues, keep a leash in every room in the house so that in the event of an emergency, you have a means of guiding your dog safely out of danger

ooohhhh... I had never even thought of that before. My doggies let us hold them by the scruff, but I'm sure there are other things that I'm not considering because there are random inanimate objects Boo was beaten with before we got him. :sad: Oh and I know he's scared ****less by the smoke detector...

[rainbow]

I've held Logan by the scruff occassionally lately when hubby takes Chase outside. He doesn't mind at all but then he's never been abused.

[Spirit]

Originally Posted by mummummum

I think we're okay ~ I've been playing with his neck and collar this morning with no adverse reaction. Who knows what happened to this poor guy? There are so many issues with him.

The only person who can change what happened is the person who (might have) hurt him in the past. And the only person who can change his attitude about it now... is you. And you will!

[mummummum]

Thanks everybody !