whats happening around here???

[erykah1310]

I dont know if anyone shares my feelings on this one, or even if this thread will last long enough for others to know what Im trying to share.

I loved coming here, daily, and Istill do, but its not the same anymore. Sadly for me the addiction is dying off.
I find myself spending more time on other forums that I frequent, I still come here day to day to see whats happining with "my friends" here, and whats new in their lives... but no one is talking anymore.

For some reason, I sign on, and shortly there after my undies fly straight up my... well you know, due to the tension here.

How can the internet cause " this" to happen??
Its like walking in on a fight occuring in a group of people, you feel instantly uncomfortable, no one is talking, and you just want to disappear.
I am going to take a break for a bit, this isnt one of those "im leaving try to make me stay " threads, im just stating how it feels here for me.

One day I hope things can return to how they were around here, I will still be checking in, in hopes that it has, but until then... Its too uncomfortable here for me.

If this gets deleted, I wont be suprised. However hopefully someone will have seen what I said.

I hope that everyone in charge of this site, can have a good long sit down and think about what is happening.
I dont understand how heaven can turn to hell in a matter of weeks.

[Prin]

I agree. :sad:

[technodoll]

same here... i'm not good with gag orders :sad:

i love this forum though, and really hope things get back to how they were

[marko]

All forums have their ups and downs. I would invite members to PM me with their concerns to see if I can help.

There are many members on this board and many different personalities on this board. As ADMIN there are things that I can do and things that I cannot do (like MAKE people get along)

If any member feels like there is something that I can do - please PM me directly. Everything you say will be kept 100% confidential.

I want to help...but I need to know specific problems.

Thanks in advance,

MarkoADMIN

[Frenchy]

I don't see it that way, admins are just trying to keep things civilized. Why let things go too far, people get rude, some members get banned, other members that I liked went MIA. And I don't see more posts deleted than before maybe these posts are in topics that I don't read to often, but really , what has changed so much ?

[erykah1310]

There are many members on this board and many different personalities on this board. As ADMIN there are things that I can do and things that I cannot do (like MAKE people get along)

I still get along with everyone, its not that,
Just "something" has happened, I will PM you some concerns though.

Frenchy, its just been "weird here" lately.

[Prin]

Originally Posted by Frenchy

And I don't see more posts deleted than before maybe these posts are in topics that I don't read to often, but really , what has changed so much ?

I guess you weren't in those threads.

[TeriM]

I'm kinda on the fence with this one. I do believe the mods need to be involved to keep things civilized but I think sometimes the "gagging" was a bit agressive. I was definately happy to see Marko's new policy as I sometimes think that people deliberately said things to close the threads, especially if things weren't going their way .

With regard to thread closures and edits for this forum (and other forums) Effective immediately (or by the end of this weekend) Rudeness and slander will just have an edited by Mod X threadnote. Members are welcome to PM the mod in question or PM me for further clarification.

I'm generally not to much of a confrontational person on this board (though can be in real life ) so maybe I don't notice it as much either. I do think that sometimes people just need to agree to disagree and quit demanding that others agree with their positions.

That said, I do love this board and think part of the slowdown is normal as we move onto warmer weather and people are busy shaking off the winter cobwebs.

[CyberKitten]

I guess I don't come here often enough to notice - I do tend to hear after the notice that something has been deleted but often it is medical question and it made sense to me to end that and suggest the questioner bring his or her pet to a vet. I have seen much more tense times and I find lately it has been better actually - I mean there are the usual comments that one does not like but I've decided now it's best to ignore the ones that hurt your feelings. (and I tend to be a bit sensitive so that does actually work for me.)

I am not sure it is healthy (emotionally) for people to spend hours here - unless one has to update the site and that sort of thing and I suppose if one is a moderator and thus needs to. But I have learned some good info here and met some great people - and I am saddened that some of them are no longer here, often for reasons I do not understand to be honest. I try not to judge anyone -even if they say something that seems disagreeable or that I disagree with. We all have different views and opinions and that's what makes life interesting.

I guess I just have not experiencing what is being referred to here. Actually, it seems better in some ways than it did during a few periods when it was quite stressful but it has not been like that for me in quite some time. Perhaps it is just a matter of perspective and experience and what one seeks from a site? And doubtless, everyone has unique needs.

[wdawson]

i agree with TeriM's last comment,on the weather slowing the number of posts,but,as the nice weather continues i think people will post about vacations with the pets ect. i'm also glad that the number of post about pet problems seems to be down also, I also think that there is a thing called TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING....everything in moderation right,including posting on a board.....

[Prin]

My problem is what's being said and what's being done are two different things. Marko, your heart might be in the right place, but it's just not fixing anything. For example, this was posted this morning:

With regard to thread closures and edits for this forum (and other forums) Effective immediately (or by the end of this weekend) Rudeness and slander will just have an edited by Mod X threadnote. Members are welcome to PM the mod in question or PM me for further clarification.

And yet, posts are STILL disappearing without explanations. Isn't that interesting?

[TeriM]

To be fair, Marko did say "by the end of the weekend".

Prin, TD & Erykah (and all others concerned) please don't let these negative feelings keep you guys away. You all provide great advice and are valued members. Hopefully we will get "back on track" soon.

[technodoll]

I'm still here! just multitasking...

[Byrd]

I'm still here too, just not getting involved in any of the intense discussions.

[Stacer]

When I read a thread like this I feel like I'm oblivious to what's going on around me especially when so many members feel like things are different. Maybe I too am not going into the threads that are causing the problems.

This is the first and only forum of any kind that I have participated in, so I really don't have anything to compare to. All the people that I've "met" here are great and I enjoy the banter back and forth and the great advice that is freely given. Clashes of opinion are unavoidable, mods shouldn't jump the gun and delete a thread before a situation has played out, give people the benefit of the doubt. Generally, in my experience, a heated debate will come full circle and in the end everyone's civil.

Don't go Erykah.

[hazelrunpack]

Originally Posted by technodoll

I'm still here! just multitasking...

Me, too...though instead of "multitasking" I usually refer to it as "memory lapse"...I just haven't remembered to finish the first task yet...

[wdawson]

I know i'm going to be hated for this but this is what i think.

This is the internet....the opinions you post are open to other opinions.....why get all emotional about what people post....yes i realize that people make friendships online and have things in common....but its the internet....and i think most of the posts about very sick pets are posted to enrage us....why do we need drama?

[Prin]

That really blows, erykah. :sad:

[erykah1310]

Meh....
I think they're funny really!
I guess there is some pent up anger about me that came flying out totally uncalled for, but whatever, I have to give credit that "they" were atleast able to confront me
whatcha gonna do right

[Byrd]

Well, perhaps they shouldn't send ya PM's that are nasty to begin with. Just my humble opinion.

Oh, I did get one in reference to this thread, but it was a nice one.

[LavenderRott]

Originally Posted by mmurlock

wow I completely agree. I have been having some health problems with my dog. Im not an idiot, he had flu symptoms, not an emergency...I just spent a few hundred dollars on vet services for another dog that miscarried, Im a college student without a lot of money....so before taking him to the vet which I really cant afford I posted his symptoms hoping to find someone with a similar problem. I got two replies.....one: why dont I get off my computer, sell it, and take my dog to a vet.........wow that was helpful. two: my thread was being locked. I wrote a comment in the early morning explaining, that though some disagree with me waiting to see a vet, rudeness was not the answer. I also commented that the person who told me to get off the computer and sell it if I dont have money was incompassionate, as they did not know anything about me and my financial situation. This was deleted, apparently this site isnt about MONITORING,it about AGREEING, if the monitor doesnt agree, its deleted. I have never been on a forum quite like this. Usually a thread is deleted if its content is inappropriate, an OPINION is not inappropriate and should not have been deleted. I am very surprised by the lock on freedom of speech here. I actually have begun discussing the issues of this site with my other forums and people are quite surprised. Honestly the only reason Im coming back is to watch how many threads get deleted a day.

The reason that threads asking for medical advice are promptly locked is this: not so very long ago, a young man came here looking for advice about his sick puppy. While he spent his time here arguing with the members about why he couldn't take his puppy to the vet - his puppy got worse and died! We are just people who own pets. I can't think of a single active member that is a vet and I can't think of a single vet that can diagnose an illness over the internet. While you think your dog has flu-like symptoms, there may well be something that you think is inconsiquential that a vet will be able to pick up that could save your dog's life.

There is no lock on freedom of speech here. I rarely agree with everyone and have no problems speaking my mind. And I have only had my "hand slapped" once. However - rudeness and name calling is not tolerated. Neither is slander.

If you don't like it here - leave. It is really rather simple. Nobody makes you log in.

[LavenderRott]

Our moderators are also members. They don't get paid and they have jobs and families of their own. So, sometimes, things get past the moderators.

You are right - I didn't see your thread, so I don't know what you said that was deleted or whatever. I do know that, in the going on 4 years that I have been here, the admins and mods do the best that they can to keep everything civil and upbeat.

And once or twice a year, a thread like this pops up to remind everyone that this forum isn't special and can't be everything to everybody. Although we sure wish it was.

There are 20,000 people who are members here. About 100 people are active on an almost daily basis. I didn't count the posts in this thread and didn't look to see who posted more then once, but I am guessing about 10 people (besides you and me ) have expressed their dis-satisfaction. If you ask me - those ain't bad odds.

[BusterBoo]

ok...just my opinion....but as someone who has tried to get into the conversations.....

if your dog isn't neutered or spayed.....you are told what to do...bluntly... Please remember that there are people who are buying their first dog and haven't read or heard about BYBs. When I got my first dog, I had no idea that spay or neuter was the way to go. (sorry, but sometimes I still wish my Harley and/or Buster could be the stud)

sometimes people who post a "medical" question aren't looking for advice, just re-assurance.....we don't always want an answer to fix the problem, sometimes we just want someone to say ....nicely...."it's ok.....take your furbaby to a Vet and get the answer. But some of the people posting are too blunt.

I know it's a reality check, but you have to "read" the question. Not everyone wants to hear what you have to say....sometimes we just need a cushion to rest on.

I have a couple of times posted and stated in my posts..."if I am banned for this". How sad is that....that someone feels that they can't express an opinion or ask a question with worrying about being so bashed....

This is a great board....however everyone has to taken into consideration the human emotion and feeling. Our Furbabies have lots to offer but so do us humans...

[Stacer]

The problems sited by the OP are not member to member problems, they are mod to member problems. Granted there are alot of passionate people posting in the more heated forums and as a new user one might feel slighted by the onslaught of blunt advice, but if those same new members stick around long enough to get to know where the regular members are coming from they would see that on a daily basis new members join to ask one crazy question about their pet's health and it can become exhausting to constantly give the same advice to people who seem to need to ask important health related questions to people who are not vets. And you will see that there are alot of very compassionate people here, but if it seems like a beloved pet isn't getting the care it needs, then the well being of the pet comes before the feelings of the owner, and members will give advice that reflects that. I'm not defending the overly rude members, but in my opinion, sometimes it's hard not to be.

[erykah1310]

Skim right on past this one, it is now irrelevant to the conversation.

[erykah1310]

actually I request it be closed, before we start argueing amongst each other. It was not the point of this thread. THe point has been discussed and I agree with what many of the posters have said.
And I see no problems with a general concerns thread from time to time lavender.

[LavenderRott]

Originally Posted by erykah1310

actually I request it be closed, before we start argueing amongst each other. It was not the point of this thread. THe point has been discussed and I agree with what many of the posters have said.
And I see no problems with a general concerns thread from time to time lavender.

I didn't say there was a problem with them. Actually - once people get things off their chest, so to speak, things seem to go along swimmingly.

[Frenchy]

oh that's just great, another byb !

[wdawson]

ohhhh no beating up the byb....this thread is no fun

[erykah1310]

I think these threads help from time to time, especially if they remain as calm and suprisingly mature as this one has.
I have concerns, and have brought them up with admin, but honestly I was asking if other members felt the same, some have some havent, thats just the way it works. As with life.


I'm glad we are on the same page even if we disagree lavender.