#1
|
||||
|
||||
Cats terrified of boyfriend
Hi guys,
I have 3 wonderful cats. They get along with me great, but two of them are terrified of my boyfriend. Every time that he comes near them, they start to hiss and if he tries to pet them, they start to poop and pee themselves. My couch and some of my blankets now wreak of cat pee. I also have to give them baths every time they have an accident because they get dirty and smell bad. Is there a way that we can get the cats to bond with my boyfriend and make them feel more comfortable with him? I can't keep dealing with the constant hissing and peeing. Thanks so much. |
#2
|
||||
|
||||
For one, I would tell your boyfriend to stop trying to pet them. A better way to their heart is going to be for him to mostly ignore them and let them come to him on their terms. Also, if he can try to be conscious of his movements and act calmly and quietly around them, that could help. Some guys are a bit like a bull in a china shop and stomp when they walk, talk loudly, and are generally rather buffoonish, which can scare some cats. Not saying that's the case with your boyfriend....but just in case.
Also, pick up a couple of Feliway diffusers to place in areas of the house that your bf and cats hang out, like the living room or kitchen. And if your cats have a treat they go nuts for, have only your boyfriend be the treat dispenser. At first, get him to gently toss a couple treats in the vicinity of the cats. If they go for them, he can gradually toss them closer to him, until eventually they're willing to eat them out of his hand. This should take place over many days. It's important to be patient with the cats and go at their pace. No attempted petting until they're comfortable hanging out with the bf on the couch and stuff. Play therapy can also work wonders (waving a wand or fishing rod style toy around, tossing pompoms or fake mice, etc). As long as he remains calm in his movements!! Do your cats have some high spaces they can go to where they can just watch the bf down below? Access to vertical space can help cats feel more confident. Good luck! I gotta say though, urinating and defecating out of fear like that is a pretty extreme reaction. Are those 2 cats like that with everyone or just the bf?
__________________
"To close your eyes will not ease another's pain." ~ Chinese Proverb “We must not refuse to see with our eyes what they must endure with their bodies.” ~ Gretchen Wyler |
#3
|
||||
|
||||
Do your cats act that way with anybody else???? Is there extreme abuse in their history? I find it quite unnerving if your cats only react to him this way. I have a feral who is not comfortable around men, but she just stays clear of him when he's walking around.
I agree with SCM, cats need to come to the human, not the other way around. Avoiding eye contact, attempting hand feeding and play sessions with him staying put would be the best way for him to win their trust.
__________________
Cat maid to: Rose semi feral, a cpietra rescue, female tabby (approx 13 yrs) Jasper RIP (2001-2018) Sweet Pea RIP (2004?-2014) Puddles RIP (1996-2014) Snowball RIP (1991-2005) In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.-English Proverb “While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” Stephen R. Covey |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
These cats may also be trying to tell you something else.
How long have you been going with the boyfriend? I knew of a couple of cats that disliked the boyfriends of friends, and after the break up, they were found not to be nice people. Myself, my ex., accepted my animals, but then came to threatening them, I should have listened to my pet before I married him. Two of them wouldn't go near him at all. All I am saying is watch for any signs that could be causing the cats to act like that, although, it could have been abuse by another before you got them, if they are rescue. the advice given by the others is good, try it. Good luck binky |
#5
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
The other cat is almost a year old. I got her from someone that had to get rid of their cats or they would be evicted. I think she came from a home of about 7 cats or something like that. That's 7 cats running around in a small 2 bedroom apartment. I think her issues have something to do with that. My boyfriend really wants the cats to like him, but he gets frustrated when they hiss at him for just walking by. I'm getting frustrated too. |
#6
|
||||
|
||||
When he walks by, he should drop some high value treats (dehydrated chicken is a favourite around our house) on the floor near them so they can start to associate good things with him. He should really, at this point, completely ignore them except to drop treats whenever he walks by them - they will come around in time. They may never end up as BFFs but it may end up as a tolerant situation.
|
#7
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
__________________
" How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven." - Robert A. Heinlein |
#8
|
||||
|
||||
And try really hard not to get frustrated. Cats pick up on that vibe and it only adds to how uncomfortable they feel with the situation. Patience, grasshopper!! It will get better.
__________________
"To close your eyes will not ease another's pain." ~ Chinese Proverb “We must not refuse to see with our eyes what they must endure with their bodies.” ~ Gretchen Wyler |
#9
|
||||
|
||||
Thanks for all the great suggestions! I will definitely give them a try.
|
#10
|
||||
|
||||
I am still interested to know whether this is how they react to ALL people, or is it just your boyfriend. A normal reaction for a cat who is not comfortable with strangers is to run and find a hiding place and not come out until they feel safe. To have BOTH cats have such a fear of a human that they actually defecate and urinate really brings some questions to my mind.
__________________
Cat maid to: Rose semi feral, a cpietra rescue, female tabby (approx 13 yrs) Jasper RIP (2001-2018) Sweet Pea RIP (2004?-2014) Puddles RIP (1996-2014) Snowball RIP (1991-2005) In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.-English Proverb “While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.” Stephen R. Covey |
#11
|
||||
|
||||
I have a question that may or may not be relevant, but how many litter boxes do you have? The recommendation is for one litter box for each cat plus one in a multi-cat household. This could be the reason they are peeing and pooping on your furniture, it may have nothing to do with your bf.
The hissing and growling is a cat's normal reaction to something they don't like and cat's will automatically hiss and growl if they feel cornered which they may feel depending on where they are when your bf tries to pat them or walks by them. Just my 2
__________________
Willing Slave to: Sam 17 yrs; Bailey 14 yrs; and Smokey 10 yrs. R.I.P. Raggs 1997-2012 ; Pepper 1997-2009 ; Tiger 2000 - 2014; "Please do not breed or buy while shelter pets are left to die" |
#12
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
The one cat only started doing this when I got the two other cats. Ever since then she has been quite different than before. The other cat also started doing this when she arrived here. They are all pretty normal around strangers. |
#13
|
||||
|
||||
here is a far fetched question, what does bf wear for cologne/after shave? My sis had a cat that hated old spice and would avoid and swat at my hubby when he wore it, changed to gilette one day, went over to visit and the cats sniffed him, one jumped on his lap and the other more or less ignored him
|
#14
|
||||
|
||||
I am wondering if the old baby powder trick would work? put some on the cats and on your bf and see if because they are smell the same they may be more accepting?
__________________
Tabitha April 10, 1995 - August 23, 2013 Bomber April 10, 1995 - July 12, 2010 Winston Nov 15, 1999 - September 15, 2011 Sophie Aug 30, 2011 "UNTIL ONE HAS LOVED AN ANIMAL, PART OF THEIR SOUL REMAINS UNAWAKENED" He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. -Unknown |
#15
|
|||
|
|||
General fear?
I agree with love4himies. There is a wealth of wonderful suggestions offered in this thread but if the behavior that the cats are exhibiting is exclusive to your boyfriend perhaps there is something ( as small as a particular noise he makes? ) that he is unknowingly doing that is misinterpreted by the cats. Have you tried having him feed the cats and seen their reaction? Perhaps if you are able to sit back and watch him interact with the cats as an observer you may be able to see what it is that that they are picking up on. Good luck- and be sure to have your boyfriend involved with the treats and feeding- warm belly=warm heart!
|
#16
|
||||
|
||||
We just got this cat condo for the cats. We put it on top of our filing cabinet so that the cats can watch my boyfriend from up high. So far, they seem to really like it.
|
#17
|
||||
|
||||
I agree with Love4himies and the fact that her questions keeps getting overlooked is questioning as well.
Animals are a good judgement of character, a sixth sense so to speak. They can sense alot about people, even when people dont want to see it or believe it. I am not saying that your boyfriend is mean spirited, however you said they act normal around strangers. All I am saying is that at times, when a animal is showing you how they feel about a person, sometimes it is better to listen. |
#18
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
maybe try coating your boyfriend in catnip spray and see if they respond positively to that...might help. Good luck!
__________________
Please tactfully EDUCATE or IGNORE posters you don't agree with. Please PM me & Include URLs and post #'s for any issues and it's my pleasure to help. I'm firm - but fair. Mind the Rules and enjoy your stay. Newcomers FAQ - How do I post on this BB? Pet facebook group Check out the Pet podcast Follow me on Twitter |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|