roommate rant

[raingirl]

I know I've ranted before..but I need to vent just a tiny bit.

If you come home early and make a big dinner, and if you aren't going to clean up right away, at LEAST organize the dishes so they are out of the way so OTHERS can cook!!!

I came home. My roomies GF cooked dinner for her and him and now the kitchen is messy ON EVERY SURFACE!! Both sinks, the stove, and all counters. And she didn't even THINK to empty the OVERLY FULL dish rack of all the clean dishes I washed yesterday (some hers) so that they spilled all in the sink and counters and got dirty again.

I cant afford take out, and I have no easy quick food...and I am NOT going to clean her mess....

(the kitchen was entirely clean before leaving for work this morning)

[wdawson]

thats why you never get roomies ...been there done that when is was in my twenties..........could never do that again

[jiorji]

i like not having roomies BECAUSE i like leaving my dishes around until I feel like doing them

[wdawson]

when i had a roomie i ditchted the real plates and went paper

[trippincherri]

I too hated having a room mate.
A few years back my bf and I shared an apartment with another guy and he was sooo messy in the kitchen.
My biggest pet peeve was his leaving food on his plates then throwing them in the sink so all the other plates also got dried food stuck to them.

I would definitley say something to your roomie about doing their share.

[Kristin7]

This is why I live alone! I can sympathize, but if this is only one time, that is not so bad. I had a roommate in college who would cook dinner every night for her and her man, and NEVER did dishes. She even bought more dishes so she had something to eat off of. Dishes would get so bad, they'd be piled up on the floor, etc for weeks at a time. I would boycott doing her dishes for awhile but then would have to break down if I wanted to be able to cook anything for myself and to be able to stand going in the kitchen. Asking her to do them did NOT help. If it helps any, ALL of my bad roomies later ended up rooming with someone worse than themselves. Karma got them! Too bad I wasn't there to watch and enjoy!

Oh, and another story about not doing dishes... I had a male roommate for a few months and he did not do one dish the entire time we lived together. He didn't cook much either, but still, it didnt' seem right, esp since he dirtied many glasses and didnt' even do any when I was gone on vacation once for a couple weeks. We were just friends at the time. Years later, we had a brief 'fling' and he fell in love with me, wanted me to have his children, marry him. Well, I do have to say, that remembering how he did not help at all around the house was NOT in his favor, and that relationship did not last long partly because of that.

[Spirit]

I do NOT live well with others, and so I've lived on my own for most of my life. I have however, gotten very lucky in the roommate department (when I have had to have one). Even my (ex) husband got on my nerves with his stupid little quirks.

I now have a new roommate who's fairly clean, quiet, out of my way, but his laziness was driving me absolutely MENTAL. So one day (after I snapped at the fact that I do everything around here while he remains a potato on my couch in the living room) I snapped out of it and reflected back on what I learned from "Don't Shoot the Dog". So far this month, I've come home to him cleaning the floor (swept AND washed) THREE times, my kitchen remains clean (he's no longer leaving dirty dishes), he's been taking the garbage out, and he's even offering me foot and neck massages almost daily. I might've done too good of a job (gotta be careful on that last one)... that stimulus control thing can get dangerous! lol (kidding)

It's amazing what you can get people to do using conditioned reinforcements to changed their behavior (the poor bastage never saw it coming either). LOL

Sometimes we need to take the good with the bad, but getting mad about things like this isn't going to change a damn thing (gotta chose how and what to react to). I'd either do something about it, or get a new roommate. And I have TOTALLY been where you are (I opted for the new roommate). But that psycho stole my doorknob when he left.

[phoenix]

Get a cardboard box and put all their crap in it. Put it somewhere obvious. You won't have to do that too often before they get the hint.

[raingirl]

what is bugging me is that I can't complain too much, because i have the dog, who can be messy, and because I moved from a 2 bedroom place that was all my own to a 3 bedroom sharing, I brought a TON of stuff with me. All the walls are lined with boxes still, because I have already unpacked everything I can. I have no more room. because of that mess, I feel bad making them feel bad about the kitchen, because they could throw it back on me "why don't you clean up and organize all your crap".

Grr...i ddin't want roommates but I was broke and paying $400 a month is so much better than $900 to be on my own. It's only for a year though. Then in Dec/Jan i *might* be buying a condo. My sister has offered to co-sign the mortgage with me if I want. I just might have to move to Hamilton, since i can get a 1 bedroom condo there for about 70K which is about all I can afford.

[Spirit]

Did I just hear you making excuses?

Not having the room to store stuff, or your dog sometimes being messy (and you putting the effort into cleaning up after him - as your roommate should do with his dog, I mean girlfriend (JOKE!) ), doesn't compare to your roommates disrespectful (and unsanitary) habits, and makes for some pretty petty and childish arguments.

Is this a rant, or are you looking for advice? Hmmmmm????

[Maya]

You deserve to have a clean kitchen to make your meals in (why do they get a clean kitchen and not you?). I know its obvious but if you put off making something you really need or want because its too messy then you are compromising your health, this stuff adds up. You need to take care of yourself. If your other "messes" are hindering them in some obvious way then you can work on it but if they haven't said anything you don't have to be a mind reader. The thing is you also have to believe it is your right otherwise they will just do whatever is the easiest for them because they know they can get away with it.

I think I understand that you don't want any confrontation even if its just uncomfortable words. Thats how I am anyway, I prefer the least friction and wish everyone would just do the right thing but that isn't working very well for me. I don't know if this will fit but I read it a long time ago and its simpleness stuck and kind of helped a bit.:love:

When Angela was very young,
Age two or three or so,
Her mother and her father
Taught her never to say NO.
They taught her that she must agree
With everything they said,
And if she didn't, she was spanked
And sent upstairs to bed.
So Angela grew up to be
A most agreeable child;
She was never angry
And she was never wild;
She always shared, she always cared,
She never picked a fight,
And no matter what her parents said,
She thought that they were right.
Angela the Angel did very well in school
And, as you might imagine, she followed every rule;
Her teachers said she was so well-bred,
So quiet and so good,
But how Angela felt inside
They never understood.
Angela had lots of friends
Who liked her for her smile;
They knew she was the kind of gal
Who'd go the extra mile;
And even when she had a cold
And really needed rest,
When someone asked her if she'd help
She always answered Yes
When Angela was thirty-three, she was a lawyer's wife.
She had a home and family, and a nice suburban life.
She had a little girl of four
And a little boy of nine,
And if someone asked her how she felt
She always answered, "Fine."
But one cold night near Christmas time
When her family was in bed,
She lay awake as awful thoughts went spinning through her head;
She didn't know why, and she didn't know how,
But she wanted her life to end;
So she begged Whoever put her here
To take her back again.
And then she heard, from deep inside,
A voice that was soft and low;
It only said a single word
And the word it said was... NO.
From that moment on, Angela knew
Exactly what she had to do.
Her life depended on that word,
So this is what her loved ones heard:
NO, I just don't want to;
NO, I don't agree;
NO, that's yours to handle;
NO, that's wrong for me;
NO, I wanted something else;
NO, that hurt a lot!
NO, I'm tired, and NO, I'm busy,
And NO, I'd rather not!
Well, her family found it shocking,
Her friends reacted with surprise;
But Angela was different, you could see it in her eyes;
For they've held no meek submission
Since that night three years ago
When Angela the Angel
Got permission to say NO.
Today Angela's a person first, then a mother and a wife.
She knows where she begins and ends,
She has a separate life.
She has talents and ambitions,
She has feelings, needs and goals.
She has money in the bank and
An opinion at the polls.
And to her boy and girl she says,
"It's nice when we agree;
But if you can't say NO, you'll never grow
To be all you're meant to be.
Because I know I'm sometimes wrong
And because I love you so,
You'll always be my angels
Even when you tell me NO."

Barbara K. Bassett

[kimbyj]

Hello Raingirl
I apologize for butting into this conversation but I couldn't find a pm for you...I am a bit panicky so pardon me if I don't do a proper intro. I googled "dog shaking head" and found your post where you said "Raingirl posted a thread about this some time ago and I had answered that my 5 year old labX Halo shakes her head like Odin does. It's sort of a gentle side to side shaking (like they're saying no no no). " THAT is exactly what my dog just did. You described it perfectly. It was so so weird. I am figuring it was a seizure?? and am trying to decide if I should go to the vets right now. He's totally normal before and aftter the "bobble"...he'll eat and play so I don't know what to do. It's a Friday and I don't want to end up at the emer vet. So what ended up bring the dx for Halo?
Thanks for any advice you can give.
Kim

[raingirl]

Hello Kim,

Because you are new here I can't send you a PM. It would be hard to say whether you need to go to a vet at this time, because I can't see your dog to see if it's the same thing.

I know with mine I didn't go to the vet, I just mentioned it at the next time I was there and they said it was common in my type of dog (bulldog) and it's called a Head Bob or Head Shake...

Because my nephew is epileptic I knew it wasn't a seizure, but if you think it was a seizure, i would see a vet.

Hope this helps.