Advice desperately needed! OMG!

[lUvMyLaB<3]

Ok, so a lady i know, an aquaintance id say. I know her because her kids go to my kids school, she has 4, they are 9,7, 4 and 2, we also go to moms group together, we have coffee, and talk sometimes. . .

Anyway, last summer she got a dog, and adult golden, an intact male. He was great, trained, calm ect, the had him for just a few weeks. She started asking for help as the dog was a problem, they left him penned in the kitchen all day. I went as far as offering to go every day and walk it, she is a poor me life is hard excuse person. They live in a 3 bedroom mobile with a very small yard. . She didnt want to get him fixed, he would make nice puppies. She gave the dog to a farm, and the kids hearts were broken. Fine. .

In august she shows up to drop her kids at bible camp, and in the bike trailer was the kids new kitten. Great i thought, kids happy, she cant have a dog. The cat got fixed and shots. Great. . .

Fast forward to a couple days ago, another friend came down the hall ranting this woman got a puppy. Let me add, for the past 2 months she has been very sick, she had emergency surgery, then lots of complications. The day before i heard she got the pup, her exact words were, i spend more time at the hospital then at home. . She starts a new job that will be 12 hour shifts next week. I am now rite pissed. Its a byb pup, if she could care for a perfect older trained dog then, now that her life is upside down how will she raise a pup? I am now just irked.

THEN, i get an email, saying do i want her cat?! She knows i like pets, just tell her a price i think is good! WTF?!? They want to sell it cuz it doesnt get along with the pup. I nicely tell her that is a bad idea, and offer advice, i guaruntee her they can and will get along. She answers they have decided the cat has to go. I am now in tears and heartbroken she treats the poor baby that way.

THEN i get another email, will i take the cat until she finds a home because the new babysitter is allergic!!! That and her life is chaos, she only wants to hear from me if i can help.

I am so upset! This is a private christian school, so judging her and flat out telling her my mind cant happen. I have tried to educate her, offer help, everything i can nicely. . PLEASE HELP! Please?! What should i do? The kitty didnt do anything wrong, it was there first, and i am sure the pup will be gone at some point. I told her i cant take it as i am busy taking cats and trying to find homes for the ones that truly dont have homes.

New babysitter allergic just may go to the top of my list of dumb a$$ reasons. I really need some advice i am so upset over this. .

[Winston]

Some people!!

Is there anyway you could find a rescue and see if they have room for 1 more? I know they are probably over flowing! Are you to foster it until a new home can be found?

My worry is she will open the door? What a crappy situation...and your right she will be rehoming the dog soon enough!

[diandpat]

Awwww.... This is such a horrible situation. Why do these people do this?????

So what if it's a Christian school...there is nothing Christianlike about what she is doing to God's creatures. She isn't "getting" polite so maybe a shot between the eyes is what she needs to open them

Poor golden, poor kitty and inevitably...poor pup

[lUvMyLaB<3]

I just mean that i feel like talking about her to my friends there behind her back. I feel like telling her off, i can hardly stop myself, thats what i mean, what i want to act like just is not accepted, but i cant stop myself, and biting my tongue is making me sick.

With the last dog, i drove accross the city to walk it, and take it to the park. She said she couldnt do that, and so would have to get rid of the dog. I did that to help her keep the dog.

There are thousands of cats pts here each year. There are hundreds needing homes. I have a foster now, i cant take it, and i dont think i should have to.

She thinks this is not her fault, poor her, she cant deal with all this, i should help her. If i am a pet lover i should take her cat, if i dont i am not the pet lover i say i am. . I told her many tips, i promised i could have them get along, then she would bring up another excuse.

Oh, and remember she wont give me the cat, i am to pay heq $150.

She doesnt see anything wrong with tossing the cat like old stinky ugly furniture. Of coarse it doesnt love the dog instantly. . I dont know what to do, i think she is horrid, she will never have success with this pup, and it is always the animals fault. Her last message was the cat has to go now, i should take it because i claim to like animals, and only conact her if i can help her. . With this mess because her life is so hard. The pup is going to suffer too, i cant imagine its future. She doesnt even care about breaking her kids hearts.

What do i do? How do i deal with her? I am angry. I cant take her cat, and pay her for it. I said i could get it into rescue for her, but it will take the space of another that will die, and that she would have to pay to drop it there. No way, she spent money on this cat, she will only sell it. What she is doing is so wrong, the poor cat!

[bendyfoot]

Originally Posted by diandpat

So what if it's a Christian school...there is nothing Christianlike about what she is doing to God's creatures. She isn't "getting" polite so maybe a shot between the eyes is what she needs to open them

X2

consider this: if it was her kids we were talking about, would it be unChrisitan to call her out on it? Nope.

[hazelrunpack]

I have to say I agree with the shot between the eyes. She's not listening to you, LML, but she's doing a great job of using you to clean up her problems. This is her problem, not yours. Don't let her guilt you into doing something you can't afford or that would adversely impact your life.

If it were me, I'd sit her down and tell her flat out these animals are her responsibility. Bring the options to the table again--working to help the cat adjust to the puppy, training puppy to respect the cat, rescues (with her picking up the fees) as a last resort. As much as you feel sorry for her animals (tell her that) you just cannot help her out here unless she's willing to do a little work or pay a little money. If she refuses, then tell her flat out she shouldn't be taking on a new puppy, either, because it will require effort and money to care for properly. And then, if you've burned a bridge, walk away.

You don't have to say it meanly. Say it very evenly and even compassionately, but don't let her manipulate your emotions any more. She'll do what she wants to do, regardless. Don't let her feel less guilty about this when it's eating you up inside. She shouldn't be allowed to be let off scotfree.

I'm so sorry you're being put into this situation--I know how hard it is to say no when there's an innocent in the middle--but this is her problem. Don't let her make it yours.

[Kay9]

This lady is a train wreck, and her life is a manifestation of that, including her impulsivity with respect to pets. My hunch is that she has an underlying psychological disorder and needs some sort of counselling. "Telling her off" wouldn't be a very productive thing to do.

I know it doesn't make it any easier for you though. For your own protection, you probably need to distance yourself from her, thereby distancing yourself from the outcome of her decisions (namely, the pets). That little cat will do just fine: after all, it survived that crazy household!