Cat mood change help!!

[Safara]

Hi there.
I have an issue I need help with! hopefully someone can help! I have almost a 2 year old bengal cat. She has lived with me at my place for about a year n a half. I have taken her to other people's places and she has never growled or hissed before! My boyfriend recently moved in with me and she was fine with him. Always went up to him, played, meowed and even played with his dog. I just moved apartments with my boyfriend and she started changing. She went out side her litter box!! she then started hiding and never comes out until my boyfriend leaves. She started coming out and he would pet her and give her treats. I thought she was fine until she started one day growling and running away terrified from him. He is at work 80% of the time at work so he is rarely home. She comes out and plays when I am home too but when he gets home she runs and hides and if shes in the room with me when he gets home she is frozen and doesn't budges. If I leave the room she starts to growl and hiss at him. He can't tolerate her any more and yells at her now. I do not know if he has hit her, he tells me he never did. She now started growling at me too and now she is peeing and pooping where she hides. and where she hides is right next to her litter box. I took her to the vet and the vet said she is having stress issues and they should resolve soon. Its been a month and she has been getting worse to the point where my boyfriend wants to leave because I still show her love and don't hit her when she growls. I say no and show her my hand because when she was a kitten she would scratch everything. I do not know what to do. I love her so much! Shes my little baby and I dont want to get rid of her! Its coming to the point were he says I never showed her to behave and she is dirty and anti-social. I make up excuses for her and he tells me I need to stop cause she is a mean cat. I bought her the sentry calming collar and she started growling at me now. I had to ask my parents to watch her for a few weeks. Is it the move or him? Her nose is also warm lately too. She is eating fine and about 3 weeks ago she got her temperature taken and was normal by the vet. If he goes by her she growls and hisses and her tail gets huge. If i pick her up and bring her with me and sit down close to him she growls and her tail gets huge. If he pets her, she growls and goes number 1 and 2 right there on the ground. I don't know what to do! Any solutions? PLEASE HELP!

[LavenderRott]

Personally, I think that your boyfriend's attitude toward your cat speaks volumes about his character. If he tells you that you have to chose between him and the cat, I would like to remind you of just one thing: your cat would never ask you to chose.

I have no solutions to your problems but I do know this - our animals are always honest with us if we take the time to see what their body language tells us.

[pbpatti]

You probably don't want to hear this but I totally agree with LavenderRott. I don't believe you need to HIT anything or anyone. This certainly does not help to gain trust which your Bengal needs to be able to do with your boyfriend. Respect = Respect IMO.

[Safara]

Yea I know there is no solution to this problem but I just need some sort of advice to get though this situation. I've never own a cat before and I know their personality changes randomly. Do I just give her time to adjust to the move and him? Or will she never change?

[Barkingdog]

Originally Posted by Safara

Hi there.
I have an issue I need help with! hopefully someone can help! I have almost a 2 year old bengal cat. She has lived with me at my place for about a year n a half. I have taken her to other people's places and she has never growled or hissed before! My boyfriend recently moved in with me and she was fine with him. Always went up to him, played, meowed and even played with his dog. I just moved apartments with my boyfriend and she started changing. She went out side her litter box!! she then started hiding and never comes out until my boyfriend leaves. She started coming out and he would pet her and give her treats. I thought she was fine until she started one day growling and running away terrified from him. He is at work 80% of the time at work so he is rarely home. She comes out and plays when I am home too but when he gets home she runs and hides and if shes in the room with me when he gets home she is frozen and doesn't budges. If I leave the room she starts to growl and hiss at him. He can't tolerate her any more and yells at her now. I do not know if he has hit her, he tells me he never did. She now started growling at me too and now she is peeing and pooping where she hides. and where she hides is right next to her litter box. I took her to the vet and the vet said she is having stress issues and they should resolve soon. Its been a month and she has been getting worse to the point where my boyfriend wants to leave because I still show her love and don't hit her when she growls. I say no and show her my hand because when she was a kitten she would scratch everything. I do not know what to do. I love her so much! Shes my little baby and I dont want to get rid of her! Its coming to the point were he says I never showed her to behave and she is dirty and anti-social. I make up excuses for her and he tells me I need to stop cause she is a mean cat. I bought her the sentry calming collar and she started growling at me now. I had to ask my parents to watch her for a few weeks. Is it the move or him? Her nose is also warm lately too. She is eating fine and about 3 weeks ago she got her temperature taken and was normal by the vet. If he goes by her she growls and hisses and her tail gets huge. If i pick her up and bring her with me and sit down close to him she growls and her tail gets huge. If he pets her, she growls and goes number 1 and 2 right there on the ground. I don't know what to do! Any solutions? PLEASE HELP!

I have heard of cats having a hard time with moving to a new home and they will start to pee outside of the litter box. Cats do not get over having stress and living with a person that is yelling at your cat is going to cause your cat to become more stressful. Cats are very sensitive animals and are very good at reading people , you may have to find a new home for your cat as she is going to be very unhappy living with your boyfriend. If it was me I would keep the cat and get a new boyfriend.

[dawnkitty]

Originally Posted by Safara

Its been a month and she has been getting worse to the point where my boyfriend wants to leave because I still show her love and don't hit her when she growls.

He wants you to hit her..., I say get rid of him. Anyone who would hit an animal, IMO, could end up hitting you too. Please dont ever hit an animal, they look to you for love and understanding, they are defenseless against you.

I think he has done something to terribly frighten her, and she is acting as if she has post traumatic stress syndrome, yes cats can get it too.

A suggestion would be (if you dont want to get rid of boyfriend) is to have your boyfriend play with her, interact with her on a more positive level. She looks at him as an enemy right now. You can turn it around with patience...she needs to see, consistantly.. that he means her no harm. It doesnt sound like he will be willing... tell him that is what he has to do because this cat is very stressed out.

If this continues it may be best to find a loving home for the kitty where she will be happy. I dont think this is because of the move, she is fearful of him.


Have you had her declawed recently or anything like that?

[Love4himies]

Ditch the boyfriend, any man who wants a cat to be hit will only lead to heartbreak for you in the future.

I have to agree with all the others.

Hitting a cat is the same as hitting a newborn when they cry , it will only cause aggression and make the situation worse. if you can't get rid of the boyfriend, then please rehome the cat. This situation will not get any better.

Poor kitty

[Love4himies]

Originally Posted by Safara

I know their personality changes randomly.

Cat personalities don't change randomly, there is always a catalyst, either medical or physical (surroundings/interactions, etc).

[marko]

This is a very tough one.

The cat has changed environments and this has stressed the cat out. It's normal for cats to be stressed for a while when their environment and/or the people in it change.

We do not know if the boyfriend actually hit(s) the cat but if he does it could easily explain why the cat growls and hisses constantly at him. It is also very suggestive (of his own behaviour) that he expects you to hit the cat. Hitting a cat is 100% unacceptable (because it harms the relationship with the animal) and you need to make sure your boyfriend understands this.

Again though, this is speculation. We do not know for sure.

It is possible that this cat is not being hit....LOADS of things can make cats growl inexplicably and one of them is the scent on the person in question.

A vet visit might not be a bad idea here either.
Good luck!

[azrael2000]

Hi there.

This is interesting because I have the same thing happening with me. A friend of mine took a cat in a while ago, and then due to some ... disagreements, she decided when she moved out to take the cat.

The cat is extremely skittish, and when outside, b-lines it to the door if it is closed... I'm not sure why. Anyway, when I am at home by myself, the cat comes upstairs, purrs, etc. As soon as that person comes around it heads to a hidey hole it has.

I am wondering, due to some other issues with this person, if the cat knows something I don't. Sounds funny... but....

I wish you the best in this situation.

Regards