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Old December 15th, 2010, 11:45 AM
lUvMyLaB<3's Avatar
lUvMyLaB<3 lUvMyLaB<3 is offline
I'm a softy
 
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Talking I'm BACK :)

Well I miss you all, and things have been so crazy and I haven't really had a computer, but ill update you all on what has happened and maybe someone will have a bit of advice

So I was in a relationship for 13 years, not married, with my kids father, it was terrible, and VERY VERY abusive, and so wrong. A couple years ago, it was the final straw, and we just hated eachother. We continued to live together because I thought it was best for my kids. We went the last 4 years never once sleeping in the same room or being together, in fact I was not allowed to step foot into 'our' bedroom. I started 'dating' a little a couple years ago.. Then one day my son started calling me stupid and an idiot and hitting me and never respecting me and acting the way his dad ha taught him regardless of what I said or did. So I leftt, even though it would be hard. We left. The abuse and control still continues however but that's a long story.

Then a few months ago I met 'him' I have met the man of my dreams. I am treated like a princess. He is an animal lover, he farms and raises cattle and does rodeo. He is the sweetestmost gentle guy. He is amazing to my kids and wants them to be his, he cares for them and wants to be the one to step up and be a real father, something they really have not had.

And here is the big news, a few days ago, after an amazing day together, he turned on a cd of my favorite music he made me, sat by my tree, was so cute, was kinda nervous haha, and started to tell me things he always says about how much he loves me and really means it when he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, he said marry me? I said of coarse and kissed him, but then looked and he was holding the most beautiful ring....

He got rid of my ex, put him in his place and taught him a lesson, and has changed my ife and my kids lives for the better, the last few months I have actually been happy for the first time ever. My kids love him more than I do haha, he has done so much for us.

Not long after I moved out we brought home a little energetic mixed breed dog. And a couple kittens haha. My ex hated my pets and would not allow any more, so I enjoyed the fact I now had my own house and could bring home whatever animals we felt like adding to our family heehee. So now we have 3 dogs and 3 cats and 1 foster cat. Luckily my new man loves my animals. He is selling his place and we will stay here for the winter, he has taken on some extra work so we can build a new house on some of his land in the spring, and get married out there in the summer, and get my horses back and bring them there too!

I still keepp waiting for something to happen and go wrong. How do I get over this? I just can't make my mind and heart believe that I can be happy and have this perfect life, like I don't deserve it or something. I never believed in true love, and falling in love, oh now I do! But I just can't convince myself that this will be real and ok and we will get married and have a great life. I have been through so much sadness and hardship, it would make anyone cringe if they knew how hard many years of my life was. I was willing to stay miserable if it was better for my kids, it was when I realized it was bad for my kids, and their dad was far from being a real father. I was the best faker to everyone, only those very close to me knew what was happening but no one knew the entire truth except the 5 of us in that house. How do I relax and let me enjoy him loving me as much as I love him? How can I believe that I am going to be happy and have found the one and will have happiness? I love this man so much we haven't even been close to disagreeing once. I asked him to tell me first what kind of wedding he wants, and cried when he described what I have dreamed about since I was a kid! I truely beliebe I would never ever ever have a wedding and be married! Is there a suck thing as a perfect relationship? Can this really be real? Is true love real? I just feel like something has to happen because I could never be this happy, I must be wrong!

Well I have missed being here, my ex took the computers and all the money in the bank. He has yet to give me even a penny for the kids and I have been very generous with his time with the kids, lending him my house and car, even when my fiancee was here to teach him and the police were called, they took him away and told me to get a restraining order, but I haven't yet, because since that happened he has been much better, hasn't been to my door once or done anything else to harm me since. I don't know how to continue making this work as my fiancee hates him, there is a lot more to this story but I shall not bore with all of it.

Anyway I should be here much more now. As I have missed it a lot, that's a bit of my update, and I am looking forward to many threads and chats, the site sure looks really neat now and is easy to use!!!

Thanks all!!! Talk soon!
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  #2  
Old December 15th, 2010, 11:55 AM
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Love4himies Love4himies is offline
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Yay, I am so happy for you . Yes, there are good men out there and you have found one. They are not all controlling, selfish pigs .

Take each day as it comes, don't worry about what bad MAY happen as all that worry could be for nothing. You have a wonderful heart and deserve to share it with somebody who will cherish it.

I, personally, would get that restraining order just in case. It sounds like your ex is a bit of a bully .

Now we need updated pics
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Old December 15th, 2010, 12:14 PM
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Sylvie Sylvie is offline
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I am very happy and agree that you should just accept the happiness.

I just posted on the TJT that I hoped next year would be a good year for everyone here and it looks like it has started with you.
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Old December 15th, 2010, 12:21 PM
shirley1011 shirley1011 is offline
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I too am very happy to hear you have found such a great guy.

Sounds like a few weddings happening here soon!
There are still some good ones out there and sounds like you have really lucked out....
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Old December 15th, 2010, 12:42 PM
BenMax BenMax is offline
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Reading this make me so very happy for you. Like you, I have found Mr. Right..not Perfect..but Right. We are to be wed whenever..at the seat of our pants!

I have been divorced for 18.5 years. Yes dated...always said 'No' to proposals of marriage because I was happy just the way my life was. My 'man' criteria was almost impossible to achieve..the list was ridiculous and long..but it was my way of not compromising and I stuck to it. Now - this man has exceeded the list, so how could I say no. I love him to bits and that is the start of a new chapter in my life.

I cannot say I was ever in an abusive marriage. I can say however I was in an abusive (verbally) and then one 'neck hold'..which ended a relationship 3.5 years ago. I never deserved that, and I refuse to believe I was a victim to this incident. No way. But in saying this it never tainted my romantic side wondering if someday there was a man for me. I always remained 'open' to the idea.

All I can say is put the past were it belongs. If you are waiting for the bottom to fall out, then it will. If you put goodness and positive thinking forward, then that is what you will get. Remain calm, positive, welcoming, and optimistic and everything will go your way. Do not succome to being a victim, because that is what you will relay to this person, and I am sure that is not what he wants. He wants an upright, strong, healthy person to enhance his life as he will yours.

This is what always worked for me. Even when relationships failed I always ensured that I grabbed what was good about it. The bad has no place or time in my personal being.
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Old December 15th, 2010, 12:55 PM
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Sylvie Sylvie is offline
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Great Advice BM
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Cyrus 7 year old GSD


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Old December 15th, 2010, 04:30 PM
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Luvmypitgirls Luvmypitgirls is offline
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lUvmylab....I am so very happy for you. What a wonderful heartwarming update!
I hope the future holds nothing but the best for you and your new husband to be.
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Old December 15th, 2010, 09:21 PM
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Dee-O-Gee Dee-O-Gee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BenMax View Post
Remain calm, positive, welcoming, and optimistic and everything will go your way.
Benmax! I the way you think!

Glad to have you back lUvMyLaB<3!

Please keep the happy posts coming and can we have updates on the 3 dogs, 3 cats and foster kittie please?
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