Can't "Get over it"...

[Luvmypitgirls]

I read in another thread someone said "animals die get over it" or something similar.
I have been absent from Pets the last few days, because I witnessed something the other day that has put me into a tailspin of depression.
I went out to do some "craft shopping", and then heading back to High River I was dreading going home. I had been cooped up during the latest cold snap, my arthritis acting up horribly. So I was enjoying being out for a bit.
I decided that instead of heading home I would take a drive.
Heading out towards Longview, I noticed something on the road. I slowed down, and pulled up alongside and realized it was a beautiful cat.
She had been hit, but was still alive, howling in pain. She was a beautiful chocolate/cream colored cat (sorry the only way I can describe). She had on a gorgeous collar, with a little red bell attached.
I was beside myself, she was crying and I could see her hind end was mangled beyond repair. She was bleeding heavily.
I keep an emergency kit in the car, so I took out the blanket, and laid it over the cat, stroking it's head. Knowing the cat was going to die either way, I scooped it up into my arms, and got back in my car.
I cradled her for what seemed an eternity but was only 2-5 minutes at most, before she stopped breathing. All I could do was hold her, rocking back and forth in the drivers seat, crying and telling her how sorry I was, and that she was going to go to a better place where the pain would be gone..yes I believe full heartedly in "The Bridge".
She died in my arms, I can only hope that she felt my heart was with her in those moments that we shared.
I have held other animals in my arms as they passed away, I will never get over it, just as I know I will never get over holding this tiny beautiful baby in my arms as she passed either.
I can't get her face out of my mind, I haven't slept in three nights, I can't stifle the tears or the sadness.
I keep thinking I should've rushed her to a vet, but deep in my heart I knew she wasn't going to live long enough for me to make it back to town.
I have driven this road a lot, and I have yet to see an animal besides the cows in the fields, she did not appear to be a barn cat let alone a farm cat, so I can't help but wonder if she was dumped out there.
Unfortunately, it happens far to often out here by High River, ppl dumping their animals to fend for themselves...

[Luvmypitgirls]

I think I seriously need a vacation or something..I can't even look at the cattle trucks coming into town without tearing up...
(sigh) what's wrong with me??

[Winston]

LMPG I am so sorry this has happened to you. I have to tell you that is my worst fear! hitting anything while driving or anyone! OMG I think I would loose it. Thankfully you are not living with that type of guilt.

Do you still have her body? if so perhaps give her a special name and add her to your loving family maybe a burial in a special spot? I am not sure how you feel about that. You provided her with peace while she crossed and that is something special. She saw your love before she went and that is amazing...she did not die alone. Thank you thank you thank you for stopping...

Please find some comfort in what you did for this precious little one! you should not doubt what you did. I am keeping you in my prayers and I wish you peace.

RIP sweet little one! Run free to the bridge...

LMPG you will meet her again....

[Winston]

Awe LMPG I wish I could give you a great big hug!

[Masha]

Omg im so sorry for the poor kitty- you are amazing for stopping and being with her in the final moments when it must be so scarry. You did what you could, and i thank you for this!

You did a good thing for a kitty whose fate was decided before you met her. Run free kitty

Some people's hearts and minds are not open enough to let animals in so please dont be affected by their words ( although when i read that persons note i was so mad as was my dh ). Animals have some of the best and kindest hearts and dont compare to most people i know, i mourn the loss of an animals the same as that of a human because to me they are just as amazing.

[hazelrunpack]

I'm so sorry this happened to you, LMPG! And to the poor kitty. What you did was heroic, sharing her last moments. You were her when she was in need.

kitty

[Luvmypitgirls]

Originally Posted by Winston

LMPG I am so sorry this has happened to you. I have to tell you that is my worst fear! hitting anything while driving or anyone! OMG I think I would loose it. Thankfully you are not living with that type of guilt.

Do you still have her body? if so perhaps give her a special name and add her to your loving family maybe a burial in a special spot? I am not sure how you feel about that. You provided her with peace while she crossed and that is something special. She saw your love before she went and that is amazing...she did not die alone. Thank you thank you thank you for stopping...

Please find some comfort in what you did for this precious little one! you should not doubt what you did. I am keeping you in my prayers and I wish you peace.

RIP sweet little one! Run free to the bridge...

LMPG you will meet her again....

Thank you Winston, no I didn't hit her, but I still feel guilty...maybe it's because it was a human that hit her, and I feel ashamed that another human being would just hit her and leave her? All I know is I have a bad habit of internalizing the pain...and I don't know why!?
Seriously, I see a dead animal on the side of the road, and I cry and cry because I feel horrible that the animal died alone, in pain and all because of a human being...
I've been like this my whole life and it gets worse with age and I'm thinking I probably should seek some therapy because sometimes I swear it lasts for weeks.
Like when I hit that duck, damn I still get worked up about that! It's one thing to feel bad which of course I do, but there's times I think about it and I literally break down and cry my heart out.
Am I going nuts?
I don't have her body, I drove her back to Calgary to my vet, to have her sent for cremation.
I only did what anyone else on this forum would do, but please don't take this the wrong way, but I kinda wish she had already passed before I stopped, because I can't get her cries outta my mind, but then again, I'm grateful I decided to take that route that day and that I did happen across her, because no animal should have to die alone like that.
Thanks for everyone's kind words...it means a lot. And I hope ya's don't think I'm completely insane.

[Loki Love]

Thank you for spending those last few precious moments with that cat - you held it, kept it safe and warm and helped it pass to the Bridge. Its last few minutes of life were spent smothered in love and concern.

[Melinda]

you did right by this little one, at one time we lived about 100 feet beside Hwy 401 (major highway) and you would NOT believe the pets dropped off on the side of that road, those that made it across the ditch found refuge at my grandparents farm, those that didn't were buried in the pasture along with our own pets. People are cruel

[quincymycat]

Insane?? Absolutely not. You are not the only one who cant understand "why" and obsesses over what "could have been".
Thank you for being there, for her sake. She had a collar and bell...she did at one point belong to someone. Maybe she got out and her owners are wondering where she could be...maybe she was dumped.
You will likely never know...but what you did made a difference. She did not die alone.
Thank you...I really mean it.

RIP little kitty

[Love4himies]

I am so sorry LMPG . That is just horrible to witness and I too think this kitty would not have made it to the vet. You did the right thing holding him/her while she passed.

I thought I was the only one that feels horrible to see an animal on the side of the road thinking it died alone

This could be a kitty that got out accidentally (even though it had a bell) so the owners may be looking for it, perhaps you can report it to the local AC and vet offices.

Another for you.

[pbpatti]

Your poor hurting heart, what you gave to that kitty will always live with you how can it not. You assisted her Soul to fly to the Rainbow Bridge where there is no pain or loss. Your heart will heal in time even though another piece is missing given with love to the Kitty with the beautiful collar and little red bell. patti

[Luvmypitgirls]

Originally Posted by quincymycat

Insane?? Absolutely not. You are not the only one who cant understand "why" and obsesses over what "could have been".
Thank you for being there, for her sake. She had a collar and bell...she did at one point belong to someone. Maybe she got out and her owners are wondering where she could be...maybe she was dumped.
You will likely never know...but what you did made a difference. She did not die alone.
Thank you...I really mean it.

RIP little kitty

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one, but what I don't understand is the intensity of the feelings, ugh, I don't know how to explain it...
I would do anything for an animal...domesticated or otherwise...I have even sat a few feet away talking to a dying coyote, blubbering away, telling it how sorry I was...I would've gladly held it in my arms but I doubt it would've allowed it without causing me bodily harm. But I approached as close as I could and just talked to it, crying wishing I could do something.
I felt intense physical and emotional pain, watching this animal die, this can't be normal!
This is seriously hard for me to admit, I won't say I'm embarrassed by it, because I'm not but Ido believe there is something more to this than an animal passing, but I can't for the life of me figure it out. I would suspect some people are going to think that perhaps I'm slightly deranged because of it.
The same person that said animals die get over it, also said, if they had to choose between the life of a child and a dog, they wouldn't choose the dog, well....I have to admit that I would probably choose the dog ...I suppose most of you reading this are going... but if I'm going to be completely honest about this then I'm putting it out there.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that animals seem to unfortunately be at the mercy of humans, I don't know...maybe I am just crazy.

[Luvmypitgirls]

Originally Posted by pbpatti

Your poor hurting heart, what you gave to that kitty will always live with you how can it not. You assisted her Soul to fly to the Rainbow Bridge where there is no pain or loss. Your heart will heal in time even though another piece is missing given with love to the Kitty with the beautiful collar and little red bell. patti

The bell makes me think that someone actually cared for her...not sure why.
Then again it could've worked against her if she actually was dumped.

[sugarcatmom]

Originally Posted by Luvmypitgirls

I felt intense physical and emotional pain, watching this animal die, this can't be normal!

Then I must not be normal either, because not only do I feel the same intense pain when I experience the death of an animal (like the mice I've had to put out of their misery for various reasons, or the birds that hit the window at work and die, or the cat I watched get run over), but I also feel that pain just hearing others relate their own similar stories, like yours with this cat. Totally makes me cry. And you know what? I don't give a sh!t what other people think about that. I'll take "bleeding heart" over "callous b!tch" any day. I'm so glad there are people like you on this planet to hopefully balance out the uncaring, egocentric, "I'm better than an animal" (hello? you ARE one!) chumps that are missing out on such incredibly rewarding experiences as the human-animal bond. So amen sistah! You are my hero.

[Etown_Chick]

LMPG
you went down that road for a reason. THat kitty needed you and you were there for her. Thank goodness there are such warm-hearted people that will help animals, too bad it takes so much out of them.
As for humans, they really make me appreciate Scruffy!

[doggy lover]

Its so hard to watch someone or something die especially when they are young or due to an accident. We seem to accept things easier when we know they are old and are sick, but when a healthy animal is hit and dies it just breaks my heart. I even feel sorry for the raccoons and skunks on the side of the road dead especially the babies. One morning when I was on my way to work I seen a momma raccoon on one side of the road and her 3 babies on the other, I could not just stand there and watch them dodge traffic so I stopped a couple of cars while they crossed the road, all made it safe and sound. I am lucky it was early and the road wasn't busy yet or it would have been silly of me to put myself in harms way but I just couldn't stand there. Another time my hubby and I was driving down a country highway and could see an accident or something ahead, I looked like something large and grey in the road ahead I thought at first a small horse or pony but when we got up to the accident it was a man. It was a motorcycle accident the guy was alive and kind of on his elbows lying in the road. I accidentally said to my husband oh its only a man I thought it was a horse, my husband looked at me like I was crazy. But I don't know it just came out, guess we can't hide how we feel all the time.
It was so nice of you to be with the cat in the end at least it didn't have to die alone on the side of a cold road, thank you for doing that, most people would have just driven past it. little kittie

[14+kitties]

Thank you my friend.
little baby Be at peace

[krdahmer]

just reading that has me sobbing....bless you for being there for her when she needed comfort the most. so sorry you had to go through that...

[BenMax]

I am so sorry LMPG..
My sister always seems to be in a spot where something tragic like this happens. She feels that she is cursed to be 'forced' to witness such tragedies, and like you she will stop and do whatever she can to provide comfort in this very delicate time. Her last incident was for a seagull.

I tell her that she is not cursed at all, but blessed to have the strength and compassion to help any living thing, regardless of species, into arms of warmth, love and compassion at the most vulnerable, most needed time of all. Their fear is now replaced by raw love in it's most purest form.

In order to balance your pain LMPG, please find comfort in knowing you made the most selfless act and provide the most precious gift possible....love.

Corny..yeah..that would be me to some I suppose. Regardless, I will continue to believe that every act, every moment of everyday has a significant meaning to it. We are not just here on this planet for no significant reason just to be plant food in the end. Nope - there is more meaning behind the existance for all species.

Bless your heart.

RIP little one. Your angel helped you gently to 'Rainbow Bridge'.

[ancientgirl]

LMPG, I am so sorry you had to deal with this, and I am so sorry to that beautiful little life that was lost.

I can't deal with seeing animals lying dead on the road. I think of how afraid they must have been, not knowing what happened to them.

Be comforted, you gave that little cat the kindness she may very well not have felt in a long time. She left this world in your arms, knowing what it felt like to be loved, if only for a few minutes.

We all know animals die, but getting over it is not an option for many of us.

[hedgiemama]

LMPG, i am so sorry you had to deal with this . you truly did do an amazing thing for this little kittys last bit of time here. There really isnt a whole lot more you could have done for this little sweetie, most people would not have stopped to comfort her when she really needed it like that.

I often think of how scared they were, they didnt have any idea what was going on and why they were in pain.

Reading this and thinking about all of this has me so upset, but it comforts me some to know you were there.

little kitty

[chico2]

LMPG,you know,I can so understand how you feel and no,you are not crazy.
Also,it does get worse as you age,so be prepared..when you reach my age.

I have held dying birds in my hands,watched their little hearts stop beating and like you,I cannot look at a slaughter-house truck,or dead animals on the road without crying and saying I am sorry,,yes,hubby thinks I am crazy at times,but a good crazy,as are you.

It hurts a lot to care and in this case,you did more for this poor kitty than many would,please take comfort in that.

sweet kitty-angel

[rainbow]

LMPG, I am so sorry to hear about the poor kitty but, thankfully he/she had you for comfort to cross the bridge.

Many of us would do the same but few will understand ....and, no, you are not crazy.


Poor Little Kitty

[Luvmypitgirls]

Thank you everyone, your kind words and understanding means so much!
Today was a bit better day, still sad but didn't cry as much...I think I'm outta tears. I've cried so much the past few days I think I may have dehydrated myself! lol.
Knowing there are people that can relate to the seemingly never ending heart ache I feel for animals in distress etc, certainly helps.
I've decided to go see a psychologist (sp?), to discuss if there is anything I can do to deal with this. I need to learn some coping skills to manage this I think.
It certainly can't hurt to talk to someone

Thanks again everyone...

[cassiek]

Originally Posted by Luvmypitgirls

I read in another thread someone said "animals die get over it" or something similar.
I have been absent from Pets the last few days, because I witnessed something the other day that has put me into a tailspin of depression.
I went out to do some "craft shopping", and then heading back to High River I was dreading going home. I had been cooped up during the latest cold snap, my arthritis acting up horribly. So I was enjoying being out for a bit.
I decided that instead of heading home I would take a drive.
Heading out towards Longview, I noticed something on the road. I slowed down, and pulled up alongside and realized it was a beautiful cat.
She had been hit, but was still alive, howling in pain. She was a beautiful chocolate/cream colored cat (sorry the only way I can describe). She had on a gorgeous collar, with a little red bell attached.
I was beside myself, she was crying and I could see her hind end was mangled beyond repair. She was bleeding heavily.
I keep an emergency kit in the car, so I took out the blanket, and laid it over the cat, stroking it's head. Knowing the cat was going to die either way, I scooped it up into my arms, and got back in my car.
I cradled her for what seemed an eternity but was only 2-5 minutes at most, before she stopped breathing. All I could do was hold her, rocking back and forth in the drivers seat, crying and telling her how sorry I was, and that she was going to go to a better place where the pain would be gone..yes I believe full heartedly in "The Bridge".
She died in my arms, I can only hope that she felt my heart was with her in those moments that we shared.
I have held other animals in my arms as they passed away, I will never get over it, just as I know I will never get over holding this tiny beautiful baby in my arms as she passed either.
I can't get her face out of my mind, I haven't slept in three nights, I can't stifle the tears or the sadness.
I keep thinking I should've rushed her to a vet, but deep in my heart I knew she wasn't going to live long enough for me to make it back to town.
I have driven this road a lot, and I have yet to see an animal besides the cows in the fields, she did not appear to be a barn cat let alone a farm cat, so I can't help but wonder if she was dumped out there.
Unfortunately, it happens far to often out here by High River, ppl dumping their animals to fend for themselves...

Originally Posted by Luvmypitgirls

I think I seriously need a vacation or something..I can't even look at the cattle trucks coming into town without tearing up...
(sigh) what's wrong with me??

I haven't been on Pets for awhile, and was so sad to read this upon returning! LMPG, my heart is with you at this time - what a tragedy.

Everytime I hear a 'dump' story it just makes me lose faith in humanity even more. I hear these stories all the time at the Leth Humane Society and it's appalling, to say the least. And they are far, far, far too common.

Thank goodness there are angels like you out there and that this sweet kitten was able to spend her last few moments with someone so caring.

*Hugs*

[cpietra16]

LMPG...I would say you are about as sane and as they come. There is nothing insane about stopping for an fatally injured cat and trying to help her, lessen her pain and giving her the comfort of knowing her cries were heard and answered!!! You answered her cries; you were meant to be on that rode!!! All creatures, great and small deserve compassion. Insane maybe insanely humane and kind!!!! but never just insane!!

[happycats]

OMG how totally tragic.
This just proves what a HUGE animal lover you are, and how truly loving and compassionate you are.

I know how sad, and awful you must feel and how the image of this sweet cat will be forever branded in you brain. But PLEASE look at the good side, this sweet little cat didn't die alone cold and scared on the road. This cat had you to hold, love and cuddle it while it passed on. I know this cat truly felt Loved and was able to move on, knowing human compassion and love and warmth.
You did a very great and selfless thing, so please try to think about that.
The sweet cat is in a better place now and I know the kitty is at peace, and would rather you also be at peace and not tormented any longer.

RIP sweet kitty
and peace be with you also LMPG

[friendlygal]

What an absolutely precious person u are! My heart was so heavy reading your story.... I could not get thru it without breaking down myself. However, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and therefore, you were sent down that road in order to find that precious little cat with the red bell. Thank God u were there for her in her final moments, in order to give her some tenderness, caring, love, and kindness in her final moments. Please, do NOT feel any guilt whatsoever. I am sure u new that there was no time to get her to the vets, and better to spend her last moments cradling her with love and warmth, then just leaving her on the seat beside u while trying to drive to the vets. I am so thankful that u were there for her while she passed. Please, dont think u are going crazy. what u are feeling is overwhelming sadness at the senseless loss of a precious life. and u are only human. i wish all good things for u...you are a good person, and i am just so thankful for u being there....thank u dear friend. u were there as an angel....((((hugs))))

[Luvmypitgirls]

Thank you all again...(sigh) it's nice to hear that ya's don't think I'm totally insane.
I am going to see a therapist about this still, just because it becomes overwhelming a lot of the time.
I will always carry that cat in my memory, and I try to take solice in the fact that she is at the Bridge with all of our furkids that have passed on before us, and they are taking care of her, maybe when it's my time and I pass thru the Bridge to collect my furkids once again, I will adopt her too, if she'll have me.