Hello Xanark:
Welcome to the forum.
Hope fully you are getting some information that will help you. Here is some more.
We've been cat people for a couple of decades. Fortunately we haven't had this type of problem, perhaps due to the fact that we are a multi cat household and they have all got along quite well. This may explain why we haven't had the problems that many single cat households have with your type of issues. The cats have always played with each other and maybe took their frustrations out on each other rather than us. As Lynne has already said, some cats are cuddle cats and some are "4 on the floor". The art is in trying to read them.
I have picked up a couple of web sites that might be of interest to you. "How Stuff Works" is about 12 pages which gives you a good cross section on feline behaviour that is well worth the browse. The other is on cat aggression off Pets.ca
http://animals.howstuffworks.com/pet...-problems1.htm
http://www.pets.ca/cats/articles/aggressive-cats/
Can you send along some pics of your kitty and what do you call him?