I'm so, so very sorry you're hurting so much right now. You go right ahead and cry!!! Who says men shouldn't cry? You have feelings and emotions just like women and I, along with others, firmly believe that a man who allows himself to cry in the face of sadness and adversity displays confidence, strength and courage!!
Your pup is so very lucky to have you as his 'Dad'. I wish we were all there to
you, and help you through this terrible time.
I have a suggestion for you, being a nurse. We encounter patients all the time with dysphagia and this prevents them from having the ability to swallow liquids. For 'humans', we use "thickened fluids" and you can purchase. Here is a link you can read:
http://www.dysphagia-diet.com/t&e_thickener.htm
Call your vet and ASK FIRST if this would be appropriate to try on your baby!
Good luck and I'm praying for you.
Sincerely,
Shabby