[bendyfoot]

Originally Posted by TacoGrl

You say "Gay is what we are not who we are"...fine then, why does it always seem to be the main focus in what gay people do/say? It seems that people know people are gay because they tell us in the first 30 secs of meeting us...we don't care.

Here's the thing TacoGrl...those of us who are not heterosexual live in a world where we are ASSUMED to be hetero. With VERY few exceptions, every single song on the radio, ad in a magazine or on a billboard, and tv show screams HI WE'RE STRAIGHT AND YOU'RE NOT ONE OF US.

Every straight couple on the street can walk holding hands, or give eachother a peck on the cheek before parting...or hell, even make out if they feel like it (ew, PDA) People I work with talk about their spouses/boy/girlfriends all the time...because they're important people in their lives. Just as my partner is important in mine.

People see my wedding band and ask me about my "husband". Or they don't see the band and ask me if I have a "boyfriend". My partner is suddenly invisible, and I am made invisible, and awkwardness ensues, and I am put in a position where I now have to out myself and explain the situation.

So, TacoGrl, if you think people are being "too open" about things, simply by mentioning they're gay or mentioning their partner...well, it's very likely that, like me, we a) don't want that yucky feeling of being invisible or b) want to take control of any potentially awkward situations of accidental "outing" by just getting it in the open right away.

The comments I made were not to hurt...they were the facts in what started a downward spiral for someone who was good at what they did...the PETA thing added to how that someone was already perceived from previous actions and away from mainstream she went. It was how she expressed it...the things she said about those who didn't really care either way...didn't really see why she was making such a big deal out of something that wasn't a big deal...something no one really cared about...most people said "what a beautiful voice" not "what a lesbian" and they bought her tapes/went to her concerts without a thought of her sexuality...until she started making people feel bad for not focussing on her "plight" as she perceived it...I was too busy enjoying her music to care...until it got to be too much drama.

The fact that YOu or other people were uncomfortable with it doesn't make her actions wrong. It's like saying, "Gee, when black students demanded to be allowed into a white-only school, it made people angry and uncomfortable, so they really shouldn't have done it." Do you not see the parallel?

Why exactly does sexuality even have to come into the picture anyway? Everyone has a talent and I don't really care what you do in bed...I don't go around "Hey I am hetro, love me or I'll sue you"...I don't have parades "celebrating" my sexuality...I and a lot of others just don't see the reason for all the hub-bub...you are who you are...enjoy life!

You may not have parades, but you have the right to publicly display your love for your opposite-sex partner without fear of being beaten up or killed. You may not have parades, but you have every media outlet reinforcing your relationship as being "normal". You may not have parades, but you can have your relationship recognized by the law, and religious institutions.

One day of celebration of the hard-won gay rights, one day of celebration of NOT having to live in fear or in the closet because many people before us took the beatings and were thrown in jail and outcast...but they survived and fought back and made it easier for the rest of us...one day of being comfy walking down the street holding your loved one's hand....well, quite frankly my dear, get over it. It's not hurting anyone.

Originally Posted by TacoGrl

Again, my point is...Why does it matter what your sexuality is? Why is it made into such a big deal?

Frankly, it's a big deal because there are millions of people like you who tell us every day that it doesn't matter, and that we should just shut up about it.

Those of us who hated ourselves because of the way we were born are not willing to be silent just because it might make a few people uncomfortable.